Married Life
superkelly
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Newlywed Advice
in Married Life
Hi everyone! I am new to this site and I have found a lot of these message boards very educational!
I was wondering if you have any advice for us as newlyweds? Is there anything you did or wish that you did at the beginning of your marriage? Or anything that you believe makes a happy & healthy marriage?
I can't wait to hear 
Re: Newlywed Advice
Create routines. H and I have great bedtime and weekend routines that I will be sad to amend once kids show up.
Go on dates. Once a week, once every other week or at least once a month. Ideally anyway. We don't have kids yet so I know that'll screw with out weekly date night eventually.
Always kiss each other good night, and never go to bed angry.
DH and I kiss every night before bed, every morning before he leaves for work, and every day when he gets home from work, and we say I love you each time. It sounds obvious, but I've seen couples get out of that routine very easily, and a simple kiss goes a long way.
THIS.
DH and I sometimes do our own thing, where we may be sitting in the same room but not talking (because of TV watching, homework-doing, etc.) but just one kiss makes me 10x happier about whatever I'm doing.
Congrats! DH and I knew each other for 4 years before we married so on our honeymoon decided to try new things and start new habits. We never drank wine before so we signed up for wine tasting on our cruise. We learned so much and now have wine with dinner. (Also bought wine racks and a nice wine refrigerator with wedding gift cards.) Since our honeymoon we started to go Salsa dancing, cook Greek food, bike ride, sail, garden, surf... things we never did before we were married. It really made us feel like a new couple.
We even have copies of the movies we watched and music we listened to on our cruise... After a long hard day at work, it's amazing how one song can spice up the mood
If you're feeling moody, bitter, upset, or angry, give yourself space. The last thing you want is to get into a discussion/argument when you're not thinking clearly. For me, sometimes that means having to tell my H to literally leave me alone and not talk to me. Then I get busy with something that doesn't require much thought (dishes, usually) and process what I'm getting anxious about. By the time I'm done, I'm able to go back and explain my side without being too emotional, and we can actually talk and not argue.
Of course, having a weekly date works, too. Whatever works for you, if it's breakfast on Sundays or "Conan" on Wednesdays... if plans change for whatever day that is, reschedule, DON'T cancel.
I would say don't focus on the future too much.
At one year into my marriage (i'm at 2 now) we hit a rocky point where we wanted to save money for a house and became so obsessed with it that we became miserable and fought a lot over what we thought we should do with our money. We forgot to have fun. We're good now, but it took 4 months to fix our problems.
also communication is soo important. you should be very open with your husband. If you can't talk to him about something then there is a problem
Respect is a huge deal in a marriage. Always strive to be respectful, even in a disagreement. That means no low blows or personal attacks. And don't focus on trying to "beat" your spouse in an argument, focus on communicating and really listening to your spouse.