Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Is this board mostly for cheating issues or other stuff too? like SIL issues
I am not sure where to post my WWYD/vent so I apologize if this is not the appropriate place for it.
I can't stand one of my SILs. It would take a day to list all of the reasons so I will summarize it by saying we are complete opposites in almost every way. She is selfish, uneducated, athiest, greedy, and the list goes on. We have hiccups before because we disagree on everything and I am of the mentality of you do what you want in your marriage and with your kids, and leave me out of it- and stay out of my business because I'll stay out of yours. But she insists on pushing her crazy "beliefs" on everyone around her.
Well she posted a nasty comment about Christians on her FB page and it just totally pissed me off and was kind of the last straw for me with keeping my mouth shut. So I responded that she clearly doesn't know what she is talking about because most non profit companies wouldn't exist if it wasn't for Christians. Millions of Christians volunteer on a daily basis and there is no way the number of whatever she claims to be comes close in volunteer work done.
She responded that she didn't appreciate me making a personal attack on her and her friends. One of her friends responded to my post that I am a dumba$$. I responded that her original post was false and offensive and I was simply pointing out the fact that it isn't true. And to the mature genius that cursed me out, how he sets such a better example of how people should treat one another than what Christians believe (being sarcastic of course).
Anyway, she blocked me on facebook. I am like Praise God I never have to see this idiot's rants pop up on my home page again! I am honestly glad she cut the cord because I dont have to justify ignoring her from now on because she did it for me.
On the flip side I have to see her at Thanksgiving at my MILs. So do I go ahead and warn my MIL and DH about what happened? I am not apologizing because I know I am right about what I wrote. I might have been wrong to both disagreeing on FB with someone I already know is crazy, but I wasnt wrong about what I said.
Sorry so long, WWYD?
Re: Is this board mostly for cheating issues or other stuff too? like SIL issues
Delurking. When you argue with people on the internet it's hard to come out without looking silly, no matter if you're right or wrong. On FB if someone is irritating you then unsubscribe from their status updates. That way you avoid the potential drama of unfriending someone and don't have to writhe in anger every time they post something that irritates you. The horse is out of the barn in this situation, of course, but in the future... you should probably grit your teeth and MYOB, you know?
I am TOTALLY behind on the FB train and slow on the pick up since I do not go on that often so I dont know how to unsubscribe from someone's status updates. I dont have to now though because she took care of that for me.
But as far as minding my business, I always do. I have never commented on the wacky stuff she puts out there in the past four years, this is the first time I made a comment and she went bonkers. People put all kinds of political and religious stuff and just keep on trucking but seeing as she is my SIL I have to put up with her stuff more often than I do with most people on my FB.
Returnofkuus- I dont know that she thinks this is hilarious. I think I pissed her off. Who defriends their SIL because of one post? Mental people.
I am not concerned about how she feels though. What I dont want is drama at my MILs house so I am debating on whether or not to tell my MIL or just keep my mouth shut and see if anything happens next time we are all at her house. If she is immature enough to defriend me for my comment I can imagine she will be immature enough to make comments about it at my MILs.
I think I'll just mention it to my DH and not say anything to my MIL. If it comes up at her house my MIL would be offended by my SILs post too so I am not going to sweat it.
Why am I getting the feeling that this "nasty comment about Christians" and "companies wouldn't exist if it wasn't for Christians" has something to do with all the crap centered around Chick Fil A right now?
Anyway, seriously, FB drama is for teenagers. If you succumb to it (Regardless of how "right" you feel you are), you're just being immature. You're an adult, act like one, and just move on.
I'm more than willing to start validating people's ideas when they start having ideas worth validating
This seems like it would go in the "family matters" section. But since you're here .......
In these days of arguments about religion and ideals, I do my best to keep myself out of Facebook fights. You'll never win them because FB is a place for people to express themselves and their friends are usually like-minded people (although in the particular debate I think you're talking about, I have been surprised that a few of my friends are not like-minded, but whatever). If you jump into it with a disagreement, you might be all tangled up in a battle with people who you don't even know, which makes it that much easier to get really nasty. As much as I wish people could agree to disagree, especially when it comes to matters that are bigger than ourselves, it's not common.
It was stupid that she un-friended you. Maybe you can have a calm discussion about what you do agree on: you both love you husband/her brother and work from there.
As for FB next time you feel like you just can't stand to hear about beliefs you are against, just opt to have that person not appear in your news feed. That way you don't have to be beaten over the head with posts that bother you without un-friending them.
Good luck to you.
This place isn't only for cheating issues. Family matters would be a better place for SIL woes but here works too (and as you can see you got helpful advice).
Let your husband know what happened. Show him the posts (yours included) so he knows exactly what happened. No need to tell MIL. If SIL brings it up just say you're sorry you handled the situation poorly after that first post you made. No need to apologize for your views as they are just a view point (whether right or wrong).
Just stay away from politics and religion when you talk to her in person. She brings it up gracefully change the subject. Talk about something you all can agree on/ more neutral (weather, sports, family, food, your pets, the cute thing your kid did last week or an accomplishment, etc).
I share your faith-based beliefs.
But, I agree with the PPs, FB is no place to engage in these types of discussions. No one's ideals will be altered by something someone wrote on FB.
You can "hide" this SIL's comments in your news feed by mousing over her post and a little "delete" or "hide" button should pop up. This doesn't mean you have unfriend her. It just means you don't have to see or have your other friends see, her commentary.
As a believer like yourself, I would encourage you to seek some common ground with her just to be cordial and friendly, and to work toward some kind of genuine relationship. But also to politely bow out of any situation or conversation that makes you unhappy or uncomfortable.
Also, while you disagree with her beliefs, and I would too, the best thing you can do is live by good example.
Thank you ladies for your comments and advice. I showed DH the strain and he was not a happy camper but he isn't a fan of hers either so he wasn't as surprised by her post as I was. She basically posted that Christians dont listen to Jesus and get out and serve their community. DH agreed not to mention it to his mother (who is devout) because it would just add to the drama.
I've definitely learned my lesson with FB though. I honestly didn't think she would overreact like she did but at least I dont have to see her posts anymore. Plus now I see how to hide people's comments so I will be using that tool with some of my FB friends as well
Thank you for giving me that tid bit of info!
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
THIS
I seriously doubt the statement of most non-profits would not exist without Christians. I don't want a religious debate but, you can't make that statement with out any information backing it up can you? I know plenty of self serving God loving people, but when someone else needs help they don't really care. Religion has nothing to do with contributions to non-profits. You sound young, facebook drama. I'd personally tell you to not care about it, it's personal drama between you and her. If you can act remotely like an adult around her and not bring up the subject, then you are the bigger person. I'm sure she'll make herself look like an ass on her own at thanks giving.
For the record, there's nothing wrong with being Atheist. We don't go to hell if we don't believe in a faith. It's called a faith because you have to have it to believe, I don't agree with the church or it's teachings personally, yet I've learned I give more than the average God loving American.
You know, you can unsubscribe from someones feed, right? And that you can volunteer and do good things without being religious?
You sound like the perfect Christian. So loving and forgiving.