Last at everything...starting to bug me.

Timmerk

So my husband and I have always been the last at everything in our group of friends. Last to get engaged, marry, get a dog (although we still don't have one), and the latest one will be last to get pregnant. I normally am totally fine with our timing. Sometimes it throws me off but I just remember we are doing things in our time and thats okay.

Now I honestly do not want to have kids right now. We have too many other plans we want to do first. And I'm only 25, I don't feel like it's the right time to have kids for us. If we got pregnant unplanned we would embrace it and be thrilled, but right now it's not in our plan.

 But now all of our friends and family seem to have kids, be pregnant, or are trying. I feel like I am in a different place then all of them. I want to talk about how I have plans that aren't kids yet or that we don't want them quite yet, but no one can respond who feels like I feel.

I don't know, I guess what i'm saying is it be nice to talk to someone who doesn't have baby on the brain quite yet. Does anyone else feel this way with their group of friends?

jessica121212

This sounds like me except I don't want any kids...All our friends are married and already have 1-2 kids and they always ask us. Do I feel left out? I mean yea cuz it's kinda hard to hang out with friends when their lives have been taken over by kids, but at the same time, if I DID want any kids it will be when we are ready and not on a timeline. 25 is younger and me being 30 don't even think at 25 I was "grown up" enough to be a parent....no hurry girl

sessionswedding

DH and I are the opposite.  We're the first in our group to get engaged, get married, buy a house, etc.  We probably won't be the first to have kids though, we plan on waiting until our 5-year anniversary to even start trying.

Savanna111911

Same as Sessions, we are actually the first in our close group of friends.  If I had to guess now I'd say we'll be the first to have kids, but we don't plan on TTC for at least another couple of years or so, but many in our immediate group of friends are not married or not even dating anyone seriously, so its likely that we will be first. (We are going to reevaluate on our 2nd anniversary). To me its also kind of hard being first because, while I love all of my friends and enjoy hanging out with them, I also think it would be nice to have some couple friends. 

Savanna111911

I acidentally posted that before I was done. But I definitely understand how it would be hard to be last. Because then all of your friends have their kids and their play dates and that sort of thing, and it would be easy to feel left out. But you know what timing works best for you and your husband, and that's the most important.

sciencegirl22

Know how you feel

atlbraves11

I know exactly how you are feeling. I'm 27 and DH is 31, we've been married for 4 years but have no desire to have a baby anytime soon. Yes, we do want kids in the future but right now is not the right timing for us. My career is extremely demanding and we honestly have too much fun spending time together and being able to be spontaneous and traveling.

99% of the time I'm confident in our decision to wait until we are ready but there are times that I get so frustrated with family and friends. I was at a wedding shower last weekend for DH's sister and all the ladies were commenting on how "It's about time we had a baby already". Most of the people I went to college with and our couple friends that got married around the same time as us either have kids already, are pregnant, or are in the process. I hate being judged as "selfish" because we want to enjoy things in life and work hard at our careers before starting a family. I feel like if anything we are being prudent and making sure we have no regrets.

 Anyhow it's a good to see that other people feel the same way with their friends and family. Have to keep reminding myself that it doesn't matter what others think!