Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Pregnant and NO SEX
My partner and I PRE baby had a very good, very normal sex life. We would do "it" up to 10 times a week, we enjoyed ourselves very much and even had a life! I aam 29 and I can count on one hand how many times we have had sex in the past 3 months. I dont know if its me or what?! The last time we did engage in sex it was awkward and every since things have been a little weird. Pregnancy has changed our entire relationship. We went from going out a lot and doing things together to sitting at home and watching tv. I always thought this would be a magical time in my life and something him and I could bond over, but instead we are more distant now than ever. HELP.
Re: Pregnant and NO SEX
COMMUNICATION is key.
Have you spoken to him?
You need to. And do it stat.
Perhaps he's at sea, or ill at ease or just not comfortable having any type of sex with you now that you are pregnant. Nothing at all wrong with that.
The sitting at home like a couple of couch potatoes: you can be proactive on this -- even if you had a dinner and movie in night, or went to a corner bistro for a couple of drinks or took in a play at a local college and went to dinner afterwards -- those are only some suggestions.
Shut the TV off and get out and do; make sure he joins you in that endeavor.:)
10 times a week, really? Gee, you and he must have the stamina and gargantuaness of Hagrid and Maxime.:)
Brace yourself because this is going to change once the kiddo is settled in: between feedings and running up and down and attending to the demands of a newborn, the frequency of how many times you and he have sex life is bound to change. It is going to be extremely taxing to maintain "the house record" once a newborn is in the picture. Count on it to diminish significantly.
You may not even feel up to it or want to have sex at all: consider post pregnancy hormone levels. On the other hand, you may become horny as hell. Again, this is an individual thing.
Make time for that talk and do it now. GL.
This was my husband and I during my pregnancy as well. Definitely agree with previous poster. Sit down and talk with him. I found out my husband was really freaked out about having sex during pregnancy and the couch potato thing came about because he was completely out of his element dealing with his nicely rounding wifey. He was worried about me going out and being to tired or going out and being uncomfortable, so he decided the safest approach was to just stick it out at home.
When we finally spoke it all became clear the we were making each other miserable trying to make each other happy. It was all a lack of communication which was swiftly resolved! Good luck and congrats on your baby!
And sometimes you just fall into a nice sized rut where sitting and doing nothing feels real good.:)
What do you and your SO like to do? Start engaging in those activities again.:)
"Perhaps he's at sea, or ill at ease or just not comfortable having any type of sex with you now that you are pregnant. Nothing at all wrong with that."
Um, yeah, there's plenty wrong with that.
Why's there plently wrong with that?
Maybe he's afraid of hurting the kiddo --- of course he can't but that's what he might be thinking.
I agree with this. Also I wasn't too keen on having a lot of sex when I was preggo anyways. I was tired and gigantic (neither of those things really get me in the mood).
A quick call to a doctor will let him know that you're not hurting the baby by having sex while your wife is pregnant. And if that doesn't do the trick, then that's an indication of some real problems seeing women as whole people (mother and sexual being). Combine that with the fact that the woman who is carrying the baby for BOTH of them is being deprived of intimacy, and you have a situation that should not be thought of as perfectly okay.