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Argh, ILs!
Random vent. I'm staying at the inlaws without my husband for the night. It's risky because I've had serious issues with them in the past. So far tonight, only minor things but so annoying! One, they're very pushy with food. I will say "no, thank you" to a dish or seconds but they will still offer it again and again and again, so I have to say "no, thank you" a dozen times in a single sitting. And they don't just offer the food, they command "Eat." or they just put the dish in front of my face and say my name. A dozen times! I feel like a dog or something.
Next, I have an infant daughter who I'm breastfeeding. I told the ILs I was putting her to bed and went to my husband's old room in the basement to nurse her and put her to sleep. I can't close the door to the room because it squeaks so loudly it wakes her up but it's never been an issue because FIL has never come downstairs in 11 years. I turned out all the lights and nursed her to sleep. So there I am sitting on the bed with my naked breast out and my daughter barely asleep in my arms and down comes my FIL. He marches right up to the open door loudly says my name a few times, asks if she's asleep yet (???), and says "Come eat.". Of course.
Re: Argh, ILs!
The coming in and asking about LO is super irritating.
Is the food thing cultural? It certainly is for my family and my MOHs (both from different Mediterranean countries).
Go to a hardware store and get some oil.:)
I think that even a drop of olive oil will work too -- put it right on the inside of the hinge. That ought to stop the squeak.:)
And he needs to knock. And go "hello, are you decent.
No, better yet, if it is past 10 pm he should figure You're asleep and leave it at that.
They sound a little nutty... and pushy.... but nothing that is World War III worthy.:)
I have the same food issues with my ILs, but not to the point of them telling me to eat. It's super annoying if anything. It's mostly annoying when we're out at a restaurant when they ask 50 times "do you want to try this?" Um, no. If I did, I'd have ordered it. I find that his family eats off of each others plates during dinner and I wasn't raised that way. I think I had to have that talk with DH a hundred times when we first started dating before he finally got it...his parents...not so much.
I agree with PP who said to put some oil on the hinge. But seriously, if LO was asleep before he loudly came down asking, she sure wasn't after. They need to respect your privacy and routine in putting her to bed.
Yes. This. Why are you staying there???
The food thing - annoying, yes. My own parents are like this as well as my ILs (maybe it's a generational thing)... they take it personal if you decline food. But it's just that - annoying. Not worth making a big stink in my book. I usually go the comedic/sarcastic route - "Geez MIL, how many different ways do I have to say no!?" Followed by a hearty chuckle. That usually gets her off my back.
Regarding your FIL interfering with you putting the little one to sleep - just address it, right then and there. "Hey FIL - going foward, if I'm nursing/putting down the baby, please wait until I come back up before trying to reach me. It's a bit of a process preparing him/her for bed and I can't afford any interruptions. Thanks so much!"
If it continues to be an issue, simply don't stay there anymore.
My MIL is a huge food pusher as well. Could be generational and I find it annoying. On the flip side, it makes me wonder if she thinks I'm not a good hostess because I'm not constantly offering her food.
IF you have to stay at your IL's again w/out DH, before you go downstairs, simply tell them not to disturb you and the kidlet. You will be up when you are done. Or better yet, just tell them you are both turning in for the night and stay downstairs.
It seems most of the ILs are food pushy as mine. I have to say ?no, thanks? dozens of times in one meeting!
Still my ILs are so helpful & cute; I cannot disrespect them & ended up
having something they offered.
The advice of putting some oil on the hinge is interesting. You can always inform (warn) them before going downstairs not to disturb you while you are nursing.