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Figuring out the more important things in life
So DH and I have been married for over 2 months, during that time I got a new job which really ate up much of our summer time. Well we ended up finding a house we would love to buy that is a steal. We still need to save up a down payment and I tend to be a saver if I really want something and tend to stress over money, which would mean no date nights. DH and I went on a date yesterday and it helped make me realize that yes it would be awesome to get into a house now, but to have those fun dates and adventures is just as if not more important than saving as fast as you can. Has anyone else come to realize this and if so how?
Also side note about the house...asking my dad this weekend to help with a downpayment because he said at the wedding next thing was to get us in a house.
Re: Figuring out the more important things in life
We bought a house in December, got married in May.
Yes it means we have less money....but we still have weekly date nights, just makes us be more creative with our dates to figure out how to do things cheap or free!
Both owning a home and relatiobship time is important to us, but we didnt feel like we were giving up one to get the other.
My Blog:Through My Eyes
Have you spoken with a lender about options and how much you actually need for a downpayment? FHA loans are very, very low downpayments.
I'm on board with this
Buying and maintaining our home was a priority. It certainly means no $200 dinner date nights. But there's no lack of free concerts, art shows, $5 drive in movies etc... to choose from either
There's something about this whole post and especially the last line that I've quoted that bothers me. It's like your father and you have this timeline in your head of how things are supposed to happen. First stop - marriage! Next stop - House! But, the reality is that you aren't ready for a home. One - you can't afford the down payment and Two - you're questioning how it will change your lifestyle and if you really want to end that.
Brakes. Pause. Deep breath. You don't have to run out and buy a house right now. Absolutely no one is holding an axe over your head to do so. You are married and your financial decisions should be between you and your husband, not you and your father.
It's a generous gift he offered, but you are under no obligation to take it. Quite frankly, if my parents offered me the money for a down payment, I would not take it. I want to know from top to bottom that my husband and I can afford a home. I want to know that we are both mentally involved in the care and money a home requires by both of us sacrificing to save the money for it.
Obviously these decisions are up to you, but I'd step out of the fast lane for a minute and say "It's okay to rent right now and enjoy life" if that's what you want.
All of this.
There is absolutley no rush to get into a house. I have been married for almost 4 years, and although we want one, a house is not in the cards for us anytime soon. We just have to make wherever we are a home, and we do.
That being said, if this is truly the right place for the two of you, and you can swing it, then you can definitely find creative date nights. They may not be as extravagant and they may not happen as often, but if you're willing to make the sacrifice the two of you can still have a lot of fun together.
So basically, if you would rather just enjoy life for now, there will be other houses. And if you really feel this is the one, you can adapt your lifestyle to make it work. You just have to balance the pros and cons and decide what is right for the the two of you. Yours are the only opinions that matter, not your father, friends or anyone else.