Sex after delivery... Will I want to again?

LMD3981

I gave birth 7/15/12, naturally. I've gotten the "ok" from my doctor to have sex again, but it still feels weird down there. My husband & I have always been horn dogs. I'm now feeling very self conscious about sex with him. I feel like I tore so bad that's things have changed down there! My husband isn't pressuring me, but I'm sure he will eventually. Also, it feels like I have a tampon inside, which I clearly do not. Will this feeling go away? I love my doctor, but I feel he wouldn't really know what I'm talking about. Thanks for listening... Any advise? 

 

TarponMonoxide

Give it time. This too shall pass. Hormonal changes due to pregnancy also has a lot to do with sensation change.

If intercourse is still painful or uncomfortable, see another gyn and get another opinion.

KayJ88

Congrats on your baby!

I also gave birth vaginally (not naturally lol - Epidural for the win!). It took me 2 months before I was comfortable to have sex again. And the first time felt weird for sure.

My doctor recommended using some sort of lubricant (especially while breastfeeding) until my hormones sorted themselves out and things weren't so dry. The tampon feeling you're describing, I assume you mean if you don't put it in properly (since you shouldn't actually feel a tampon), so I'm going to assume you are just experience some very normal post-pregnancy dryness down below. Also if you don't feel like having sex, just don't. Nothing to be worried about, you have a BIG change in your lives, things are bound to need to get into a good routine before you can expect things to be as they were.

You really should bring this up to your doctor because it's entirely possible your hormones are out of whack. If you are uncomfortable with your doctor, then perhaps ask for a referral to a female physician who might have a better understanding of what you are going through.

Good luck to you on your journey of mommyhood!

SemperFiPurpleHeart

I had a 2nd degree tear and had to be sewn up. Things looked differently for awhile but it took time for me to get back into it.

According to my FI, things feel like they did before DD! Yay for that!

married2thebest

It is possible to tear through your clit as well as your vagina. I t is possible that they had to suture around there. It may take a while to heal. You could have a nerve injury from the birth. YOu would have to discuss it with your doctor. The tampon feeling may have to do with how the sutured you inside. It may just feel different. Some doctors put in what they call the husband stitches to tighten you up for you DH. That may make you feel different, too. Give yourself time. Take it slow. YOu will probably need lube especially if you are breast feeding.

Naomi Says

You should always be comfortable talking with your physician.  Trust me, you could never tell them anything they haven't heard before!  Remember your body has gone through a drastic change in a short period of time.  Your husband loves you and understands.  I agree with Married2thebest when she mentioned the infamous "husband stitch" some doctors tell their patients and some don't.  To loosen up your vaginal walls and tighten your PC mucles, I recommended using Pink Lubricant along with Lelo kegel balls.  It may sound awkard at first but asking your husband to help with this exercise will show him that you are doing your part to be ready for him physically.  I hope this works.  If you need more information on the kegel balls or to purchase the lube our store offers a post baby delivery recovery kit called the Proud-Parents-To-Be kit.  Feel free to check it out on our site.  www.naomisays.net

Congratulations on the new bundle of joy!

Naomi Says  

Naomi Says

http://www.naomisays.net/Proud-Parents-to-Be.html 

Here's the direct link.   Good Luck

 

kerischrader

SO normal to feel that way.... It took us about 2 1/2 months to have sex after DS was born. I was scared, nervous, and so was he! But it was great! The only down side.... I couldn't O!!! Even when doing things "myself" ...nothing... I thought things stretched out so much that I no longer had that muscle to... but once I weaned DS from breast feeding, all was restored!! *BIG SIGH OF RELIEF*!!

Wahoo

I am remembering when I told my friend (who had already had two children) how my doctor said no sex for six weeks in front of DH and she said "six weeks?  the doctor should have said SIX MONTHS!!!"

Aside from the wear and tear on your body, your hormones are all over the place as well.  Give it time.

ilovemygirls

Just because you have the "all clear" from your doctor, does not mean that you are ready.  Your body has gone through a major trauma, and you are still healing in many ways even if you are physically ready.  It can take a lot longer.  Don't think that just because you don't have desire, or feel like even pleasuring yourself that is gone forever- it's not.  Just do what you need to do right now- take care of your baby, let yourself heal & your husband can wait.  I'm glad he's not pressuring you, but you may need to communicate that even though you've been 'released' that your body just isn't feeling ready.  And please don't think your doctor won't understand- even though he's a male he's probably heard it all from his patients!  I found that my male doc was extremely compassionate & understanding when I asked questions I thought were weird.  It will be okay, you just gave birth 6 weeks ago- give yourself time & space to get back. 

LMD3981

Thanks everyone! Things seem to be improving down there. Seeing my dr in a few for my annual. Lots to talk to him about. Thanks again  

caroljosh

It took me a couple of months after delivery to be comfortable having sex but my sex drive did not come back until I quit breastfeeding six months after delivery and had a period, and then it was like BAM!  I'm back!  My husband said that his sex drive suddenly increased when I got my period too. 

as110

It's completely normal. You should use a lubricant, that might make it feel better, but expect that things changed there and it might not be working for months. I had twins and it didn't even occur to either of us to start having sex. At 6 months we tried and it was like nothing happened. I didn't have any sensation, it wasn't numb but almost. It was too much work for both of us and we didn't sleep the first year, the last thing we needed was pressure to come. We kept trying, though not frequently, maybe once or twice a month. I just told him it's OK by me, just not to expect big orgasms from me because I didn't have much feeling, but I finally had my first post partum O at 18 months. Things are back to normal but it took a long time. I think if I had stressed out over it it could have been much worse. I had chiropractic treatment too, they pushed my legs too far back and I had an issue with my hips for a few years, I had muscle spasms, pain, I was limping, I couldn't get up from the floor. Once the muscle spasm was released my pain went away and I could walk properly. I still have to watch how far my legs come up and when it is too far stretched I have to do physio therapy and stretch the muscles to get me back to normal. My kids are 7 years old.

I can't imagine having sex a few months after baby is born. I didn't want anyone touching me once I was in bed finally because there was always a baby attached to me and I was touched out most of the time. I nursed for 2.5 years and I still can't stand it when he touches my breasts but I am getting used to it, I have to make the effort, but my nipples lost sensation the same way my v. did at birth. It takes time I guess.