I feel like things are just falling apart!!! =(

brandonsbestgirl1

Please excuse my rant... A few days ago my Grandmother went in for surgery to fight cancer....it was unsuccessful and she only has a few days to a few months left with us. My husband has been so great with all of this,,,he has been staying with me at the hospital while we stay with my grandmother to keep her company...the most depressing thing is that when we were all in the hospital room, my grandmother did not yet know that she would be gone in a while bc the docter wanted to tell her in the morning.the nurse came in that was pregnant and not knowing her fate she excitedly introduced my husband and i as her grandkids and joyfully told her "these are my grandkids, they will be trying for a baby soon! and i am so excited bc i dont have any babies here in the this state and cant wait to have them at an arms reach!" Of course we couldnt tell her "nanny your going to die...you will never get to meet your future great grandchild" idk what to say to her..she knows about it now and she is at peace with her fate. But i cant help but feel horrible!! THEN the people who we are supposed to be moving into their house and renting to own called us last night..they have changed their minds for whatever reason... sorry for my rant just needed to blow off some steam.

sgautschi

I'm so sorry to hear that. I lost my grandmother to small cell lung cancer. She was stage 4 when they found it and only lived another month following her diagnosis. It was so hard on all of us and I had a hard time grieving for the longest time afterwards. Then I started a job at a cancer center, and now I feel so much more at peace with the loss. I now see patients with almost every cancer in every stage, and ive seen patients who have been given little time, yet lived much longer. Nobody knows when there last day is, even those who are healthy, so just enjoy however much time you have left and keep things as normal as you can for her. I'm so sorry again that this is happening, I can completely relate.

Also I'm glad you ranted. It's good to get things off your chest.

Munin

Sorry about your grandmother. She is at peace, so just enjoy her while you have her. I know this is easier said  than done. Is she getting hospice care? I certainly hope she is. Talk to her hospice nurse or caseworker. They are there for the family, too, and can help you with grief counseling and support groups. I lost my father to cancer last year, and will always be thankful to his hospice nurse not only for the excellent care she offered him, but for always being there for me, too.

Samboni

I'm really sorry about your Grandma. There are no words to make it better. Enjoy the time you have with her and try to savor them. Maybe ask her to tell you some stories about her childhood (prom, first dates, her parents) and have some fun convos with her that you normally don't make time for in everyday life. Journal your time and conversations...it'll help you later to have something written down since you won't remember it all. If you do talk about your future kids, then maybe tell her that you're going to work her name into your baby names. You don't have to use her exact name down the road (initials, middle names, etc) but it will help you both to have that connection in the future. Try to stay upbeat for her. Pray with her and learn from her. She sounds like a strong lady.

Sorry about the house. You'll find another one. Try not to focus on that now. Hang in there.

Naomi, stop trying to spam your website with every post. It cheapens EVERYTHING you say and it's really tacky in posts like these. Gross.

 

 

brandonsbestgirl1

thanks ladies.

My grandmother is not wanting Hospice care right now bc they do not provide the food nutrition she is on a feeding tube and the suger water that hospice provides would starve her...we plan on naming our daughter Kalinda Marie my grandmas name is linda marie and kalinda mean sun which is awsome bc my grandmas nurses call her sunshine. Thanks for listening

brandonsbestgirl1

she will however be getting home health for as long as possible. She is such a fighter! she finally gets to come home tomorrow which is so great! we have everything ready for her. I plan on talking with her about our baby name and seeing what she says i just hope i can hold it together long enough to get through the conversation...I just always pictured her as such a big part of our first babys life =(

sgautschi

She sounds like a fighter and an awesome lady, and you seem to show so much love and support. I know she appreciates everything you do. It ALS sounds like she is making good health decisions, and I'm glad she's going home! That'll make her feel a lot better.

I also completely understand where you are coming from with imagining her there with your first baby. When I first got engaged, which was about two years after my grandma passed, I had a really hard time coming to terms with the fact that she wasn't going to be there. So I just incorporated her into as much as I could. I wore her pearl necklace and had a picture of her there. I also have a tattoo of a moon and stars in dedication to her on my shoulder that I proudly flaunted on my wedding day. When the day came, I felt her there in spirit. So just remember that. She will always be there for you, whether it's physically or in spirit. And with her fighting spirit she may just beat the odds and survive a little longer.   

brandonsbestgirl1

well wenesday they had to take her off the TPN and send her home with the sugar water she is now in Hospice care bc the TPN is not helping her anymore its only making her suffer. She has been home for a few days now and we are happy to say that she is still kicking it fine, she sleeps alot and thanks me constantly for being there to help change her and make sure she is clean and taken care of ....She talked about our future child again this morning and i just burst into tears the first thing she said is " its ok honey even if im not on this earth when your baby comes ill be here in spirit." she knows just what to say to me..im glad i finally got to tell her my feelings about her death. She asked me why i hadent talked to her about it before and i told her that i didnt want her to feel bad for dying and that i would be ok and that our family would be ok...I love her so much....i honestly dont know if our family will be ok but i would never tell her that.