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On the topic of unwanted gifts from MILs....
For a good Tuesday laugh (I either have to laugh at this stuff or I'd be crying often with MIL's antics).
My inlaws had a get together Sunday night for Labor Day. Like usual, MIL bought way too much food. Example: She bought a veggie tray that feeds 30 for a party of 8 adults. Nonetheless, there was tons of extra. As we left MIL pushed us to take tons of leftovers - we accepted some, said "no thank you" to the rest and left. This is pretty typical of events at my inlaws.
Early yesterday morning (before 8 am) DH gets a phone call from his Dad. The message is that they left stuff on our side stoop - go get it, it's perishable. We go out to the stoop and they dropped off leftovers from the night before! A big tupperware container of veggies and three containers of veggie dip (one not opened and two that are pretty much totally full). (a) There are only two of us, what are we going to do with three buckets of veggie dip, (b) I don't even eat veggie dip, and (c) most importantly, we told them the night before we didn't want any leftovers.
DH is taking all of it back to the inlaws tonight after work and telling them not to do it again. If we tell you we don't want leftovers, we don't want leftovers. That doesn't mean leave them on our doorstep and run. At least it wasn't a flaming bag of dog poop.
Re: On the topic of unwanted gifts from MILs....
We now just take what they offer and when we get home we either keep it or throw it away. Wasteful, yes, but it keeps the peace.
They did keep what they wanted and said no to the rest....how is that ungrateful? The problem is that her inlaws then came to their house at some point and left everything else on their doorstep. That's not cool. It's not ungrateful. They took what they wanted already when the party ended. I realize the OP's inlaws meant well, but in the end, they need to understand that they can't just do that.
you really can't take dip to a food shelter...
I would just toss it...and say "I'm sorry, we had to toss all that food, if we thought we could have used it, we would have taken it with us. For the next party, try not to bring so much that way it doesn't go to waste"
its one thing to give you left overs, it's another to drop them off after you've already said no. in this case i would've taken it and had DH call and ask them to not do that again and suggest MIL not buy so much as it will just be left there.
my MIL does that on vacation and it's stuff I can't stand-like grocery store rotisserie chicken. i can't stand the stuff (HATE chicken on the bone) and DH knows this. She always tries to pawn it off on us and we refuse. She also said that she had so many leftt overs then and DH suggested next time she not buy so much. last time we were away with them she didn't. but it went on for years.
I agree that it's annoying, but I'd file it under "funny things your inlaws do that drive you a bit crazy". Like my MIL, Grandma the Paparazza. Well intentioned, but drives me up the farking wall.
I'd never be so rude as to take it back and say that their generosity was unwanted. I'd toss it or donate it. Well, actually, we're a family of 4 vegetarians - a boatload of veggies like that would not go unused! (the dip though, ew.)
And the buckets of blueberries? I'd love that. But I get that not everyone would.
Now, if she rocked up to my house with a new dining set and plans to re-arrange my home, well, that's how women end up shanked.
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
We love veggies and we love leftovers - what we don't love is when we say "no thank you" and the items are forced on us anyways. I guess I don't understand why it is rude or ungrateful for us to give the food back, but it isn't rude for them to just drop perishables on our doorstep when we already politely said "no".
If we had not said "no" and the inlaws just dropped off the food then we'd have a different story. Like the blueberry story - if my inlaws were to go blueberry picking I would not be surprised for a carton to show up in our mailbox. And we'd be ok with that. Honestly, if we were to go blueberry picking we'd pick some for them too.
Sure, we can always just pitch the food - but I hate food waste - and it misses the point. The issue isn't so much the food, but the fact that my inlaws don't respect when we say "no". Pitching the food would keep the peace - and I love peace - but it enables the behavior of MIL disregarding when we say "no".
I wholeheartedly agree that them dropping off unwanted leftovers to your home in the night like vegetable dip ninjas and then texting you before 8am to let you know that it's there is rude. Hence the filing under things that inlaws do that drive you insane. But returning a rude act with another starts a cycle of passive aggressive rude crap, or just plan rude crap.
By all means, tell her next time that you appreciate the gesture and boy was it ever funny when the raccoons dragged 3 giant tubs of vegetable dip all over your lawn, but you ended up having to throw it all out and you felt really bad about having wasted all that good food. Next time please don't just drop it off, because the leftovers we bring home from your house are pretty much all that we know we can eat.
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
They absolutely shouldn't have dropping the food off after you refused it. It's kind of bizzare, really. I'm curious what they thought would happen? Sounds like they're using you as a proxy for not being wasteful themselves. Do they have other, similar boundary issues (I suspect so)? Sometimes it's a matter of picking your battles.
And living far enough away that they can't just pop over so easily
What difference does it make that she has a 1 month old? And calling at any time other than wanting to come over and help would be off in your book? Really? They were trying to be helpful, they were dropping off (unwanted) food.
I didn't think that having a 1 month old baby meant that the house was off limits for visiting or calling unless you were going over there with the intention of doing their laundry.
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
Seriously, the fact that this is an even an issue seems odd. You've made the problem, if it's even a problem, bigger than it needs to be. Did they listen to you? No. Did they harm you or your family by forcing you to throw crap out? No. Did they maliciously set out to hurt you and defy your wishes? Um, no. Let it go.
Hehehe, this is the PERFECT response!!
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