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How do I make this feel like my home?
My husband's aunt died and left him her house on the coast of Northern California. We've been here for 4 days (we got married overlooking the ocean just off the street the house is on on the highway), and my husband has already started work at the university (about an hours drive away- seems like a lot but the drive is absolutely beautiful). My husband was very fond of his aunt, and always had very fond memories of this house. I don't know if he wants to change much around the house. I'm not sure how much of it he wants to preserve.
I've never had a place of my own that ever really felt like home, and I have to admit when I go on the back porch and look at the hills and ocean, I really do feel at home. But when I go back inside I remember I'm living in another persons house. The house itself is beautiful, but it has that elderly-woman style. It feel almost cluttered, even though it really isn't. The throw rugs are really busy ornamental patterns, and it has a lot of antiquated, ornate furniture, but the ceilings are exposed beams and wood, so the whole thing looks far too busy. The design and structure of the house itself cries out for something more minimalist.
I've also been spending my time while my husband is at work by settling us in. Going through cabinets and cupboards and packing up her old things that we don't need (like her clothes and nick-nacks). My husband goes through them when he gets home because he has sentimental attachments to some of them, and decides on what things he definitely wants to keep, and what we should get rid of or store.
I've never decorated anything and I don't really know what my "style" is... but I know that it's not here. My husband's old home in Seattle was more of a minimalist design, like a home magazine from the early 60s- which was a little old for me but a lot nicer. I liked a lot of aspects of it, and would much prefer it over this. I know I'm making it sound hideous and awful, but it isn't It's just not my style, and it doesn't feel like home. I can't imagine it's his style either. I'm not sure if he would want to remodel it though, or if he wants to preserve it for sentimentality. I don't quite know to bring it up (I don't want to sound like I hate it or disrespect his aunt in anyway- I never met her but she sounded like a lovely woman). If he wants to preserve it, I don't know how to settle in and make it feel like home. If he wants to remodel or change it, I don't know what to change it to.
Re: How do I make this feel like my home?
Have you asked your husband what he wants/thinks?
I agree that it's really important to ask him.
Personally, I'd do something in this order:
- Pack up all completely personal items (photos, clothes, mail, etc)
- Remove rugs, fussy lamps, knick knacks
That way you'll be left with a blank space with bare bones of furniture and you can better envision what you'd like to do. From there, I'd be looking at inspiration photos online (Pinterest, Houzz) and collect photos of spaces you like. Then just implement that look.
My Pinterest
The Googlesites Paint Bio
Thinking of doing cosmetic updates to a dated home? These were our costs.
This; in our house we have some things that belonged to our grandparents that we have made work with our house, although it's not fully decorated yet. I would talk to him about what he wants to keep, give to other family members, sell and donate but all of this will come in time it's hard to let go of things.
On a separate note: I love your pups xmaryrickx. Very cute.
Oddly, I was in a very similar situation to yours for the past 12 years! We just bought our own home and moved out of my DH's grandmother's house in May.
Back story: DH grandmother ended up moving into Senior apartments and his parents asked us to move into her place and care take it and the surrounding rentals. She had lived there for 35 years and got into "antiquing" during that time. Holy knick-knacks, Batman! It took THREE DAYS to move JUST the knick-knacks from upstairs to a room dedicated to storing them downstairs. I think back on that time and get all panicky...sort of joking, sort of not. She had smoked int he house for those 35 years and, while I thought the walls were painted peach, they were in fact dyed from the nicotine. Ugh. It took a LONG time to make it feel like ours, but the best thing we did was take all her stuff, move it to one central location and then paint. By stuff, I mean every stick of furniture, every lamp, and doily, every cool looking knick-knack, and every scary looking knick-knack (she had a mean antique doll collection goin' on). We then painted the whole place, moved our stuff in that we had (not that we had a lot, we'd been dating for two years and I was just a year out of college), and lived in it for a bit. Slowly, we were able to integrate things of hers back in with our things. DH's parents went through all the stuff we'd moved downstairs and took the things they wanted and we were left with everything else to deal with.
I'm not going to lie - when we moved out this year (!) there were still quite a few things in basement, but nothing like it was. And we scored some amazing, cool, old things we'd never have otherwise.
I say, divide and conquer. If you aren't working, it totally makes sense for you to be moving things on work days. Maybe you and your DH could pick a spot (garage? basement?) that you don't mind moving everything to for storage and then you guys can look at stuff together on weekends. But the very first thing I'd do is move everything out. Then you can see the space clearly, paint if needed, and move some of your stuff in.
I hope this helps...and wasn't too long!
Remember sentimental doesn't mean it all
Needs to be displayed. I'd probably do what you are doing pack up that stuff, I'd change out the drapes and removed the throw rugs to give it some new life.