Married Life
dragossoul84
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I'm having a rough spot with my husband and could use some advice
in Married Life
My husband was the bread winner of our family he lost his job, he looked for a whole year in our state and did not get hired. So then in the middle of the night he wakes me up lets me know that he wants us to move to another state (the one he grew up in because the job market is better down there) I finally agree and after my surgery that had been scheduled prior we start packing. He has dropped everything in my lap our fiances, our newborn, just about everything he has deemed my job. Our son has colic I have been on bed rest for a year due to being high risk prior to delivering then another health condition that had to addressed after our son was born. We have moved 6 hours away from everything I knew so he could do what he wants to for work and not only has he not got a job yet he is running me ragged. I keep asking for help and I'm not getting any I dont know what to do. I think hes dealing with depression but refuses to get help. He is such a kind and loving guy but right now is being beyond lazy. He is so out of it he almost gave our 11wk old childrens tyenol instead of infant tyenol after his shots. I'm scared to leave him alone with the baby for fear he will space out with him and to tired to keep all these plates spinning in the air something is going to fall and I'm terrified of dropping the ball.
Re: I'm having a rough spot with my husband and could use some advice
It sounds to me like he is in denial.. I definitely think he is putting way too much pressure on you. Is there any way you can convince him to go to therapy with you or alone? If you are near any close family or friends and don't mind involving them maybe you can form a support group and have them help him go talk to someone.
You really cannot be responsible for all of this especially if you are suffering from a health condition. You need help and fast.
TTC 19 months ~Started RE in March 2014~
DH was not ready for IUI so we waited
~Started acupuncture in May 2014~
~~BFP 7/6/14~~~EDD 3/14/15~~It's a girl!!~~
Have you made some friends or can you find a MOPS group or something in order to get some help? Do you attend church? Any coworkers that could help? Anything? Just for an hour here or there for you to get a break once in a while.
I'm sorry your H is depressed/in denial/being an a$$hole.
GL.
My husband went through a similar emotional time a few years ago. It wasn't as bad, because we weren't married yet and didn't have an infant. But it was terrible, nonetheless. In retrospect, he was definitely depressed and still has some issues. Men (to generalize) define themselves so much by what they do for a living, that if something happens in that area, they are so affected by it.
Somehow, you have to get him to talk to someone about it. Not you. My husband finally went and spoke to a counselor through church. It helped, but it still took him years to really move on. I'm sure that if you could convince him to see someone who could actually diagnose him, that would be best for you two, though. If he doesn't get over it, he can't move on; that doesn't help anyone in your family.
I'll be thinking about you. I'm sorry you're going through that. I know it's not easy.