Decorating & Renovating
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Tiny vent. . .

It is like pulling teeth with my hubby to get him to do anything. He's content with living in our crappy broke college student shabby chic apartment (that we have no chance of moving out of anytime soon for various reasons). We agreed we were going to try and spruce up our place a little and make it more homey to try and make the best of it while we're there but anytime it comes down to actually doing anything he makes a huge fuss and is basically sh*itty almost the entire time. 

I just don't understand. He says he wants to do this with me and even throws out some ideas of his own and when we actually finish a project he's generally really pleased with it but he's a bear when we actually have to do it. 

I think I'm just at a loss.

Re: Tiny vent. . .

  • Is it possible he thinks you guys can't afford it? Or maybe the projects and decorating just are not his thing. And if they aren't then maybe learn to do the things without him.

    I feel you with the husband just not getting things done thing. It's annoying so sometimes I just need to take steps without him. Then usually he will catch on and just work on it with me 

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  • Our last project was a painting a bookcase and I did about 75% of the work. I don't mind doing things by myself it's just sometimes I don't know what I'm doing and I need his help lifting.
  • Can you just do stuff without him? My husband doesn't do much along those lines either, but he'll chip in if I'm assembling a bookcase or whatever.
    My favorite place on earth: The Amargosa Valley.
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  • In my case, if I want my husband's help, I make sure the project involves POWER TOOLS!   Anything else I do on my own.
  • Seriously. Just do it yourself. If he doesn't like what you have done, then kindly suggest he play more of an active role in the process.
  • Just do it yourself but make it clear he is not allowed to complain or veto any of your ideas. Sure, it would be nice if he would pitch in and help but since he isn't and you want to make some changes, just do it. 

     We have had $250 of exterior lights sitting in our garage since the spring that DH hasn't installed. I am doing it myself this afternoon.  Unfinished projects drive me absolutely insane.

  • Some men are a little slow on the 'making your house look like a grown up lives there and not a college student's dorm'.

    My hubby was like this too - and we're both in our 30s. Ours wasn't that bad, mind you, but there were some items of decor that I could have done without when I moved in with him. What made him change his tune was seeing how nice all of our friend's homes looked and him wanting to make ours look nicer too.

    Maybe try that approach...go hang out with some of your friends who have a nicely decorated home and then point out 'isn't that nice what they did with (insert room/item here)?' See if that inspires him. Oh yea, and what PP's said too - if you want something done, sometimes you have to do it yourself ;)

  • You should do it your self. My DH gets even nervous when I just ask him an opinion about home decor. I recently hired a handy man (instead of him doing it) to hang my new decorative mirror.
  • I have no problem doing things myself. Most of the time when I want something done I actually do do it myself. But he usually finds a reason to complain then too. It's either that I'm taking too long or that it doesn't need to be done. He says I don't know how to relax, which I do, I just can't stand having things lying around waiting to be done. We hardly get to spend time together as it is so when we want to do something like little projects I would rather do it with him. 

  • imageJMER41:

    I have no problem doing things myself. Most of the time when I want something done I actually do do it myself. But he usually finds a reason to complain then too. It's either that I'm taking too long or that it doesn't need to be done. He says I don't know how to relax, which I do, I just can't stand having things lying around waiting to be done. We hardly get to spend time together as it is so when we want to do something like little projects I would rather do it with him. 

    Honestly, this is more than a decorating issue. Why don't you tell him all this? And then try to figure out what will work for you guys?

     

  • I wish it was just a decorating issue. He does the same thing with cleaning. I'm not super anal about having every dish washed all the time but I still don't think it's okay if we're planning on having company over and there's dishes in the sink and clutter on the table or the trash needs to be taken out. 

    We have talked about this but it hasn't seemed to make a dent with him. Thank you for all of the advice. I really appreciate it. :) 

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