Single friends...

KBabe076

I have been having a harder time than ever relating to my single friends.  I'm the only one of my close friends in my town that's married and even in a relationship. And it seems more obvious than ever that my priorities are so different than my close friends are.  They go out every Friday and Saturday to meet guys and drink. While H and I are trying to save money for house payments and prefer to relax at home.  We do have 2 couples that we sometimes do things with but we don't we have a lot in common with the one and the other is busy a lot. Is anyone else dealing with this?  How are you finding ways to relate with friends that are at different stages in their life than you?

mrsodonnell12

I was a senior in college when DS was born- and it really changed my relationship with my friends. We were just in VERY different places in our lives. I stayed close with my closest friends but lost touch with most of the others. Some friends are meant to be lifelong friends, some are just for a season. I try to remind myself of that when I lose touch with people.

aneubaue

I feel the same way with some of my friends from college and high school, but agree that the friends I was closest with are friends that I am still close with.  Although it is hard at times, I too try to remember that I was not going to be friends with everyone forever and to treasure the friendships that I have kept! 

KBabe076

Thanks! It is true that some friends are meant to come and go!  The ones I'm talking about are my close, old friends and I think that's what's hardest is that we used to have so much in common before and it seems like more recently we don't.  We still try to make time for each other but their way of hanging out is drinking. I don't mind that on occasion but they don't relate to being in a relationship, being married, and those responsibilities. Maybe I need to be the one to make an effort to find ways to relate to them.  They still always call me to go out on weekends tho, so at least they're still asking. 

tyleet87

I have a mixed group of friends and we all do things together. We also always do group activities so there is no weirdness there. I would get annoyed if all my friends wanted to do was go out and drink. H and I are also trying to save for a house so if we do go out we will just not splurge as much as others might.

I only have 2 close friends, they are both single. One of them is actually my cousin and we are very close. She's a year older than me and she has never had a boyfriend. It's SUPER hard sometimes because they both don't understand what it's like, especially since my H is in the Army (although he's not active).

I just wish they would both be in healthy relationships so we can all be on the same page. My cousin is just so shy and doesn't actively try to meet people and I want to try and help her but I don't know what to do. I met H through a mutual friend after 5 years of friendship haha.

KBabe076

tyleet87:

I have a mixed group of friends and we all do things together. We also always do group activities so there is no weirdness there. I would get annoyed if all my friends wanted to do was go out and drink. H and I are also trying to save for a house so if we do go out we will just not splurge as much as others might.

I only have 2 close friends, they are both single. One of them is actually my cousin and we are very close. She's a year older than me and she has never had a boyfriend. It's SUPER hard sometimes because they both don't understand what it's like, especially since my H is in the Army (although he's not active).

I just wish they would both be in healthy relationships so we can all be on the same page. My cousin is just so shy and doesn't actively try to meet people and I want to try and help her but I don't know what to do. I met H through a mutual friend after 5 years of friendship haha.

This is soo me!! 2 of my closer friends that I hang out with most are both single and they don't understand what it's like to be in such a serious relationship. I wish all the time that they could be in healthy relationships with someone because I know they would settle down and want to do couple things with H and I.  They just can't seem to find a good guy. I try to make time to do things alone with them without H but it still isn't really the same. 

tyleet87

oops. triple post.

tyleet87

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tyleet87

tyleet87:

KBabe076:

tyleet87:

I have a mixed group of friends and we all do things together. We also always do group activities so there is no weirdness there. I would get annoyed if all my friends wanted to do was go out and drink. H and I are also trying to save for a house so if we do go out we will just not splurge as much as others might.

I only have 2 close friends, they are both single. One of them is actually my cousin and we are very close. She's a year older than me and she has never had a boyfriend. It's SUPER hard sometimes because they both don't understand what it's like, especially since my H is in the Army (although he's not active).

I just wish they would both be in healthy relationships so we can all be on the same page. My cousin is just so shy and doesn't actively try to meet people and I want to try and help her but I don't know what to do. I met H through a mutual friend after 5 years of friendship haha.

This is soo me!! 2 of my closer friends that I hang out with most are both single and they don't understand what it's like to be in such a serious relationship. I wish all the time that they could be in healthy relationships with someone because I know they would settle down and want to do couple things with H and I.  They just can't seem to find a good guy. I try to make time to do things alone with them without H but it still isn't really the same. 

 I just make sure that the 3 of us girls do things that we all love and enjoy. Since H has been gone since July there is a lot of time for us!

How do people meet people nowadays? I need to help them find men! haha

KBabe076

tyleet87:

tyleet87:

KBabe076:

tyleet87:

I have a mixed group of friends and we all do things together. We also always do group activities so there is no weirdness there. I would get annoyed if all my friends wanted to do was go out and drink. H and I are also trying to save for a house so if we do go out we will just not splurge as much as others might.

I only have 2 close friends, they are both single. One of them is actually my cousin and we are very close. She's a year older than me and she has never had a boyfriend. It's SUPER hard sometimes because they both don't understand what it's like, especially since my H is in the Army (although he's not active).

I just wish they would both be in healthy relationships so we can all be on the same page. My cousin is just so shy and doesn't actively try to meet people and I want to try and help her but I don't know what to do. I met H through a mutual friend after 5 years of friendship haha.

This is soo me!! 2 of my closer friends that I hang out with most are both single and they don't understand what it's like to be in such a serious relationship. I wish all the time that they could be in healthy relationships with someone because I know they would settle down and want to do couple things with H and I.  They just can't seem to find a good guy. I try to make time to do things alone with them without H but it still isn't really the same. 

 I just make sure that the 3 of us girls do things that we all love and enjoy. Since H has been gone since July there is a lot of time for us!

How do people meet people nowadays? I need to help them find men! haha

Seriously! My friend is on match.com to try and meet a guy and they have all been duds so far. I wish H had some single friends I could introduce them to. 

micheller630

While most of my friends are in relationships, I'm one of the only ones that's already married, so I understand where you're coming from.  I also feel like I got over the bar scene a lot quicker than some of my friends did, although a couple more are coming around now and it makes me so happy!

Can you try just going out with them every now and then and not drinking too much?  You can still have a good time just dancing with your girls.  Maybe say that you need a "girls only" night and it won't be as focused on meeting guys.  Or host a cute pre-game at your house before, then you can save money and still have a lot of fun.

I also feel like it's important to ask them about what's going on in their love lives, even if you can't relate to their day-to-day experiences.  I know my friends are all so supportive of me & DH, so it's important to support them in what they're going through too, just like you would if you weren't with DH.

KBabe076

micheller630:

While most of my friends are in relationships, I'm one of the only ones that's already married, so I understand where you're coming from.  I also feel like I got over the bar scene a lot quicker than some of my friends did, although a couple more are coming around now and it makes me so happy!

Can you try just going out with them every now and then and not drinking too much?  You can still have a good time just dancing with your girls.  Maybe say that you need a "girls only" night and it won't be as focused on meeting guys.  Or host a cute pre-game at your house before, then you can save money and still have a lot of fun.

I also feel like it's important to ask them about what's going on in their love lives, even if you can't relate to their day-to-day experiences.  I know my friends are all so supportive of me & DH, so it's important to support them in what they're going through too, just like you would if you weren't with DH.

This is such great advice!  I do try and go out with them every once in awhile and bring the H and then there are times that I leave him home and just have a girls night. I do agree that it's important to keep up on how they're doing and they ask about us, too.  It does make it harder when there's nothing to relate too but putting in an effort is super helpful. :-)