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Looking for jewelry..find: Drugs and toys *Somewhat explicit post*
So, my boyfriend and I recently had a lil' baby girl. She's 5 months old and amazing. My push present was being "customized" and had finally arrived. Being a snoop, I wanted an idea of what it was. I knew it was jewelry..but wasnt sure if it was going to be the *ring*.
So I now understand why curiosity killed the cat. I was being nosey and went through his drawers, nada. Then I saw a box and a bag on the top shelf of his closet. Pulled them down to find: a bag of cocaine in the box (i'm talking not just for a recreational use amount), and in the bag --very kinky sex toys, dildos, vibrators, porn and lotions.
We have our fun in the bedroom...but it has never been with any of these items. I was disgusted. And I could've probably let it pass, gross as it was, if I didn't find the cocaine.
I know he had done coke a while back every once in a while...but I can't comprehend why someone would need this much. Why would he hold on to sex toys from previous girlfriends?
I don't know how to even approach this situation. We were in such a good place. Hes a great man to me and a dedicated amazing father. And I just don't know what to think or say, or if I should say anything. Help! 
Re: Looking for jewelry..find: Drugs and toys *Somewhat explicit post*
I don't know how to even approach this situation. We were in such a good place. Hes a great man to me and a dedicated amazing father. And I just don't know what to think or say, or if I should say anything. Help!
Really? You bfis probably dealing drugs and you are in a good place? Sounds like a great man and father,
You and he were never in a good place.
Get rid of him --- and get yourself tested. You're at risk for STDs and perhaps even Hep C and Hep B; who knows if he isn't mainlining drugs, in addition to using lots of coke?
And as you see, there is no such thing as a perfect crime; you found his drug stash (who cares about the toys; the huge amount of coke is the big big issue here)
Make a clean break of this. Thank God you and he are not married; think of the divorce bullshit you'd have had to go through if you were married to this creep.
Protect your finances and go. I don't know if you and he own a home or have any joint assets but do ask an attorney about them, if you do.
You need to get out of there and pronto. Be glad that your kiddo is too young to absorb any of this.
I'm sorry but it made me laugh that you think the sex toys are from ex girlfriends. You were not in a good place as a couple, you were in complete denial as an individual. He's screwing around on you.
Push presents are ridiculous. No wonder dude needs to deal cocaine to pay for your taste. But really, you knew he was doing cocaine recreationally at some point and still procreated with him. He was never trustworthy or law abiding you just chose to pretend he was and push forward with a relationship when you should have known better.
My SILs first BF after her divorce was into drugs. She had no knowledge of this until they searched her house and found a huge stash! Her kids (my nieces) are older and it was so appalling to me that an adult could leave such dangerous stuff out where kids could get into it. Also, when the police came they questioned my SIL because the drugs were in her house. She's so lucky that the police believed her when she told them the drugs weren't hers or she could've lost her kids.
A push present (also known as a "push gift," "baby mama gift" or "baby bauble") is a present a father gives a mother to mark the occasion of her giving birth to their child. In practice the present may be given before or after the birth, or even in the delivery room. The giving of push presents has supposedly grown in the United States in recent years. [1] A ?push gift? is any type of present loved ones give to a woman who has recently given birth to a child.[2] The name ?push gift? although indicative of a vaginal delivery does not exclude those women who have given birth through a C-section.
This is as per Wikipedia.
If a guy is serious about you, no push present needed --- no ring at ALL is needed! You could just head on down to the town hall and have a wedding; any 2 witnesses will do, even if it's 2 people who were in the courthouse at the time!!!!
What a push present is is more or less an enGAGement ring. Period.
A push present, really? Guy doesn't want to get married??? What do you need him for, then??? Gee, I gotta piece of jewelry but...wedding? Well........
Sorry, but it is never ever a good idea to hatch out a kid without the benefit of at least 2 solid years of a secure, healthy and thriving marriage under both your belts.
A shame a kiddo is involved; you simply could have packed up and walked away, when you saw what the story was with the drugs --- now you have him for 18 years --- good luck trying to get child support of out this bum...and if he winds up in jail, you'll have an even bigger maelstrom on your hands than the one you've got on your hands right now. You're certainly sure not to receive a penny in child support if he winds up in the hoosegow, not to mention your child now has the prestigious feather in her cap of her dad being a jailbird.
Give serious thought to packing up, taking the kiddo, and leaving. This guy's a jerk --- the toys mean NOTHING --- it's the DRUGS that are the big big red flag.
He also could be prostituting himself to support a habit. Cute concept.
And even if he's not, you don't need a druggie. Get rid of him today.
And get yourself some therapy. You seem to like these guys who don't think a lifelong committment like marriage is a goal, nor do you seem to attract guys to who marriage to his better half is important.
Exactly, all of this. Now that you know it's there, you have an obligation to report it. It sounds like you all share a house and now you've opened yourself to criminal charges. He has endandgered your life and future, and that of your daughters, by keeping illegal drugs in the house that you all live in.
An excellent and timely suggestion, also.
Especially the "Get out and get out now. Do not hesitate" part of it.
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/66207853.aspx
This post would suggest that he's anything but great and dedicated.
or this one:
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/63904310/ShowThread.aspx
Poor OP is in denial I think, and has been for a long time. Hopefully this latest incident pushes her over the edge towards making a change.
For the love of all that is holy, why, why, why are you looking for a ring from this guy? Less than 6 months ago, you were 9 months pregnant, he was sleeping with somone else and completely discounting you. You actually said in that post that they only broke up because SHE found someone else.
The toys are, as someone else implied, an interesting wrinkle, but hardly the issue here. If I found drugs in my H's closet, the only debate I'd be having was whether to flush them or set them on fire with the rest of his stuff. I cannot comprehend a situation where I would even consider not confronting him with something like this.
Once you do kick his azz out, get yourself into therapy asap. You need to figure out how to stop being a doormat.
He is a complete douchebag. All three posts indicate that. Clearly you are insecure since you've stayed with him this long. I haven't read all the responses in the previous two posts but I'm betting money that everyone told you to get the f&% out. You obviously didn't listen to anyones advice then so I fail to see why you are here asking for it again since you'll probably only stay with the a$$hole.
Prove me wrong. Take the kid and GTFO. NOW!
THIS 110%!!
OMG! Are you completely insane?!? You find a bag of sex toys and a butt load of drugs. Oh ya...you both are soooo in an amazing place right now! Get your head checked cause Hun you are in denile!
BTW...what the hell is a "push present??"
Leave now. You were never in a "good place" more like you were oblivious to his actions. Put yourself and your daughters well being first and leave him.
And in my situation, that would include burning them and the apartment we live in above the business he owns to the effing ground. Get out of there immediately. Why is this even a discussion?!