just made a "love List"

brandonsbestgirl1

i made a list in detail of things that my husband can do more often to make me feel appreciated and loved. I read somewhere that this can help with communication between couples. I had him write one for me as well, we are going to exchange them tonight when we get home. Has anyone else ever done this? Did it help bridge the communication gap between the two of you?

TarponMonoxide

IT may or may not have a positive effect.

I am guessing it is how it is presented.

Maybe if you prefaced it with "Honey, you are hot and sex with you is fantastic; it would be even hotter if you and I did the following...." and then included the list.:)

brandonsbestgirl1

yeah thats what i was thinking i just wanted to avoid the whole wanting him to read my mind thing.

NinaTony

We did something similar during our per-marital counseling.  However, I would use the sandwich effect.  Say, something positive.  Such as something he does that you like, give him a moment to take it in.  Then, say what you would like more of.  After, that say something you like again.  This way, the list isn't so negative. We have been together over 8 years, and this exercise was fun and helpful.     

brandonsbestgirl1

thats a great idea! thanks!! i have been with my husband for around that same amount of time!

jnjmommy0609

We do something like this to an extent. We didn't actually make out a list. But we decided that each week we will do something romantic for the other. We can either request something or have the other person think of something. 

It works for us. Communication is very open but yet respectful in our marriage. 

Bierfrau

Really like what "jnjmommy" was writing.I would not make it too Cosmopolitan, I mean like the magazine. A lot of guys really don't like to be treated like little Kids. Writing a letter is like homework.

notyetthere89

Ha, my friends and I did something similar one time....mainly because three of us were sick of this other girl...ended badly. But obviously in this scenario it's not like that. I agree with whoever that said that you should say positive things as well--good idea!

BiscuitEater21

My fiance have done things like this throughout our relationship (: we used to write letters to each other and give them so we could read them when we were alone again. I have also had to write a couple serious, long letters because I was having a hard time communicating and trusting him...

But I love your idea and I also think charts are great, especially for families. Whether is be exercise, chores, or teething brushing charts, they're just great imo! 

ErikaB123

If you are struggling to communicate with your husband, I strongly suggest you both read the book "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. It's a book that will help you and your hubby identify the ways in which you show/receive and receive love. Very helpful book because once you decide which one(s) you are, you can have your spouse read it so he can better understand how to show you love and vice versa. Anyway, good luck on this, I think your "love list" is a good starting place but this book goes more in depth on personalities and specific love languages. 

bewilderingstar

This would never work for my husband and I. It would end soooooo badly. Writing down a list of how he/she can make you feel more appreciated is grounds for an extremely defensive fight. Just thinking about how that would end stresses me out. lol.

 

GOOD LUCK!!