Hubby can't orgasm with oral

PinkTriangle

My husband of 1+ years (together for over 3 years) can't relax enough to have an orgasm with a hand job or oral sex. He was this way before we got married as well so I don't contribute it to any extracurricular activities like cheating or porn. We have talked about it and tried various things to remedy the problem. I'd like to encourage him to talk to a counselor or someone to see what to do. I feel very defeated when I try to do this for him and just can't get anywhere. Any suggestions? Has anyone else gone through something similar?

TarponMonoxide

Psychological.:)

He associates oral sex and handjobs with the forbidden so there ya go.

See a sex therapist. He needs to get permission that oral sex and hand jobs are a-okay and that "nice people" do it. (and do it a lot...:) )

bewilderingstar

Does he want to have an orgasm with oral? Just have some sex if it doesn't bother him either way. It can be foreplay to the real stuff!

 

Otherwise, what Tarpoon said.

cari2007

TarponMonoxide:

Psychological.:)

He associates oral sex and handjobs with the forbidden so there ya go.

See a sex therapist. He needs to get permission that oral sex and hand jobs are a-okay and that "nice people" do it. (and do it a lot...:) )

Perfect advice! Just wanted to reiterate.

One addition: have you told him you enjoy it? Some men don't think women like it, so they just can't quite get there. Let him know that you like it, and that you want him to finish that way. Just a thought.

mgrulke

He can orgasm with regular sex, right? I think that he has to be reminded that you want him to come and that you don't mind going down on him. Tell him to relex and enjoy.

married2thebest

Catch him off guard with oral sex, like if you are just watching a movie or something. He may be so surprised that he can relax enough to finish. I tried this with a BF who had difficulty with this and it helped him.

NOLAbridealmost

Not all guys will get off from oral.