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Problem with sex
Okay so this is really embarrassing but I really don't know what to do and I would love some advice.
I love my husband very much and am incredibly attracted to him. We have great sex and he's started to concentrate on me more and more to make sure I orgasm. (It doesn't happen every time so he's trying to rectify that).
Here's my issue. I can't seem to get wet anymore. When we first got together, this wasn't a problem. I've never actually had this problem with anyone before. I love what he does to me, and I can feel myself getting aroused but nothing else happens.
I've looked it up online and it says all the basic things, staying hydrated, foreplay, etc. and if all else fails, using lubricants. I've done all of that. We've used a lot of different lubes and I hate every single one of them. We've found one that works for the most part but sometimes it doesn't.
I don't know if I should go see a doctor about this or not. Has anyone else ever had this problem or something like it? He says it doesn't bother him but honestly, I feel like a little piece of me dies every time we have to use lube. Like I'm not woman enough for him for us to have sex without help.
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Re: Problem with sex
I'm not actually on any birth control. We just use condoms. Sorry if that's TMI.
I never even thought of using pure romance. Is it water based or no? I'll have to look that up. Thank you.
I also had a problem with that when I was on BC, particularly when I was on NuvaRing. Another factor to consider is stress/anxiety. I notice that when my stress level raises, I have more problems with that also.
As far as lube to use, I recommend KY Yours&Mine. I really like the one designed for the female (in the pink bottle). I can't put a finger on why I like it, but it's amazing.
I totally hear where you are coming from. It upsets me at times when I feel I should be able to do something, but "should" statements or thoughts are not going to do any good. Try to stay positive!
If you are on BC, I would recommend asking your GYN about changing it if it really becomes an issue for you, which it sounds like it is. If it's stress, try some meditation or relaxation techniques, like yoga, and see it that helps. I don't recommend trying to get on antidepressants, as they can kill your sex drive. Good luck!
I never even thought about it being a condom issue. I'll have to check out latex free condoms.That might be one of the reasons the lubricant doesn't always work.
I've been working out lately and it's a really good stress reliever for me. I've been wanting to try yoga for a while but could never bring myself to go. I'll have to check it out.
Thank you all for the advice. I really appreciate it.
If this was a rare problem the sex lube industry would be almost nonexistant.
Sad, but COMMON.
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when DH and i were first married, the same thing happened to us. Its like the first couple of months were great, then i was soooo dry, we couldn't even finish most of the time. We ended up trying different kinds of lubes and none of them worked. We were trying to conceive at the time (now 9 months preggers here, ya!) and one of my friends told me of a lube that was conceiving friendly and worked really well! Its called Preseed. We LOVED IT! Would not change to anything else! Keeps me well moisturized for the whole time and creates such a friction. I would recommend that if no other lubes work.
Good luck!