Sex & Romance
tooquick1
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Should I feel guilty ?
Most of the time when I masturbate I fantasize that I am making love to someone besides my wife(who I love dearly) ?
Re: Should I feel guilty ?
Thanks ! Even though sometimes her best friend is the object of my desires ?
With that said. Do most women imagine being with a "real" person vs a movie star or rock star ?
I think rock starts and movie stars are real people last time I checked.
It's perfectly normal to fantasize while one masturbates. If I knew my H fantasized only about my friend (and not some unattainable or imaginary person) I would wonder what is up with that.
Yeah I'm in this camp. When fantasies cross into actual "it could happen" territory, I think you're starting on a slipperly slope that's best avoided. Plus if your wife ever figures it out she'll be pissed.
Ditto. Plus, earlier in your post you said "Even if it's my wife's best friend?" and added a smiley face. Um. No. If you are feeling guilty, you shouldn't smile about this.
My take on this is a little different;......
While I also think it's normal to fantasise while in the throes, the OP mentions thoughts of "lovemaking" specifically, and that's where I personally would draw the line...... If you are fantasising about actually 'making love' to your wifes best friend and that is the main source of your fantasy fuel, then you are getting into a unhealthy area with potential pitfalls, in my opinion.......
......Just fantasise about big tits and behinds or annonymous women with different body build to your wife and it's your own private business that can improve your sexlife and keep your mind happy.......imagining tender scenes with her best friend and you could find yourself aching and on a precipiece.....Also, how many wives would like to know this about their loving husband?
Wow. I'm sorry but I'm glad you're not my husband.
Fantasizing is one thing, but when you're fantasizing about "making love" to a specific person, who you interact with on a regular basis, thats just wrong. And it is leading you down a road that in my opinion is not going to end well.
Just think of how would you feel if you thought your wife was fantasizing about your best friend.
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Why? Are you having sex with someone else? Then why feel guilty?
I sometimes fantasize about Jeremy Renner and Hugo Schwyzer. It's perfectly normal.
I find myself in a very similar situation, and I am a woman...and I am eaten by guilt for desiring another man other than my husband. This man was very real (not any sort of movie star or anyting) to me, we (as in my family) knew him, but just as an acquaintice...He did come to our house for a friendly dinner a few times...I saw qualities in him that I couldn't find in my husband. Thats what made him so attractive to me...He really is no longer in our lives now, but I still desire him and act on those desires in my mind-When I'm with my husband sometimes I wish it were him... This is something I am struggling with. I did seek counseling, but all they told me was I have this crush and lets bring your husband in to fix your marriage (which I declined, because I really felt it was me in the wrong and not my musband)..I felt as you said of your wife, that I love my husband dearly, but I found this man so attractive in who he was and how inspiring he was...
Do we just learn to cope with these feelings? Do they just eventually simmer out? Or is this a real problem?