Sex & Romance
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Low Sex Drive?

Hi Ladies, hoping for some opinions here.  My sex drive has never been super high.  When I was single, I was ok going for a few weeks without masturbating and I haven't really felt a need since I met DH.  We have sex on average 1-2 times a week, occasionally more, sometimes less if we're sick or super tired.  

   I'm rarely in the mood though I can usually get into it if DH starts something.  I've tried getting in the mood throughout the day, but honestly, it doesn't really help.  When we start having sex, it feels good then about half way through I lose almost all sensation and don't really feel anything.  I can feel DH, but the good feeling goes away.  It comes back a few minutes later and cycles through this a few times before I can come.  I've tried thinking about how good it feels when I am feeling it, or after the sensation goes away, but nothing seems to keep it constant.  DH is excellent at making sure I come every time, and it feels great.

   I guess I'm wondering if anyone else gets these waves of sensation, or if I just have a low sex drive that I'm stuck with?  I'm on copper IUD (not hormonal, and went off BCP to see if they were affecting this.  Nothing changed), and I've made an appointment with my Dr. to get my blood work checked.  But maybe someone has another suggestion??  Thanks in advance ladies 

Re: Low Sex Drive?

  • Hmm. When you say the feeling goes away, do you mean you feel numb down there? Or do you mean it is difficult to achieve orgasm because the feeling builds and then fades?

     

    If you are feeling waves of numbness down there, maybe you have a pinched nerve or something? If actual numbness is the case, you might want to talk to your Dr. about what it might be.

     

    If it's just the difficulty maintaining arousal, maybe spicing things up with a toy can help? Variety is the spice of life, as they say. Think of a fantasy you've always wanted to play out in the bedroom and try it! Dress your DH up in one of those sexy fireman costumes if that's your thing, or experiment with fuzzy cuffs or a blindfold, or whatever secretly strikes your fancy.

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  • It's not a numbness, the feeling just goes away.  He could be poking away at my arm for all I could care.  And it's not difficult necessarily to reach orgasm, it's just frustrating that it doesn't feel good the whole time.  I always orgasm with the occasional exception, maybe 1-2/year.  DH is very good about that.  :)  I guess it's not with maintaing arousal as it always comes back, but maintaining it throughout if that makes sense.  

    And I'd love to be in the mood more often, but honestly, I could care less half the time if we had sex or not.  The sex we do have is great but when we're not having it I don't feel like I need it.  It makes me sad as I know it's awesome when it's happening.  DH says he's happy with what we're doing, though I know he's got a higher drive than I do.  He'd be super happy with every couple of days I'm sure, and I'm worried this will eventually get between us, though he swears it won't.  I just don't want it to become an issue in the future.  We've talked about it and he's super supportive of whatever I need to do (Dr., etc.) or want to try.  

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