My wife complains about everything thing I do or dont do!!!!!

ford65

I dont take her out I don't give her flowers I don't get her oil change I don't I don't I dont... Why the hell you still her oh I know we just brought a house 3 weeks ago..

I know its more to it but after 15 yrs you would think you know somebody. Well I know I have not been the most romantic person or done the things she wants me to do. So know I suppose to do these things and its going to get better. I keep you posted. I need ideas because i still luv her but whew she's testing me LOL!!!!!

breezalina82

Maybe this is something that's been festering for a long time in her. Are you doing anything to make her feel special and show you love her? Having sex doesn't always do this so don't count that. 

ford65

No not really I just try to be nice and to be there for her. OK festering is word she would use so if thats the case how is these things going to change anything?  I'm going to give it a shot but money plays a roll but some of these things I can do I just don't. she so independent since the day I meet her...  lets go back to festering which sound like a long time so this may take a while....

breezalina82

You don't have to spend a lot of money to show her you care and love her. Why not cook her favorite meal? If you have kids see if someone could watch them while you have a romantic meal at home for two. Hopefully you know her well enough by now to know what she likes, and what would bless her. Maybe a back rub. I don't know. I love leaving little notes for my DH, and that only cost time and thought. If you love her, it's worth it. 

Courtney3257

I suggest you both read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It is an easy read and straight to the point. I read it in two days.

We all perceive love in different ways, sounds like your wife's primary love langauge is Acts of Service.

This book really helped us understand what we each need from one another. Not a big reader? There is also a website... http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/

 Hope this helps, good luck!

toothpastechica

Courtney3257:

I suggest you both read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It is an easy read and straight to the point. I read it in two days.

We all perceive love in different ways, sounds like your wife's primary love langauge is Acts of Service.

This book really helped us understand what we each need from one another. Not a big reader? There is also a website... http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/

 Hope this helps, good luck!

This...oh so totally this. It helps so much to know how to show love not just in a way that we see on TV, but in a way that the other person responds to. Also taking her for a drive to somewhere where you can see stars or a nice view, suprise her by doing the dishes without being asked...you don't have to spend money on making someone feel like they are special to you.

Sewilson33

A little goes a long way with a woman. Try little things like giving her a massage for a few minutes, cooking dinner for her, offering to do the dishes. There are many things you can do for her that are free or low cost.

ROFL ATTACK

Clearly you're frustrated KNOW vs NOW!

 So I'm not the only guy on the message board, good to know!  I don't do a whole lot of things for my wife.  Let me rephrase that, I don't do a whole lot romantically for my wife.  I do however do all the grocery shopping.  Usually once every two weeks I'll buy things I know she likes to eat but we don't keep around (Horizon Vanilla  milk she love this stuff) So I buy six packs of it for her.  Or on a whim I decide to cook something I know she loves but hasn't had in while.  One of those are Bacon wrapped jalapanos  cream cheese stuffed shrimp.  It's the little things she's looking for, small stuff.  One day last week we ran some errands and she was getting tired and just wanted to go home.  I made a U turn and pulled into a bookstore parking lot and told her to "go to town"  She absolutely loves to read and I figured if she was tired and just wanted to go home, why not go home with some new books.  I hate the bookstore (don't like reading, it's my attention span)  But I did it and didn't moan and groan at all because I just wanted to see her smile.  

Hardly ever do I buy flowers at all, flowers to me are buying her books.  It's about taking over a task she always does once in a while (vacuuming).  

ReturnOfKuus

I'm not sure what you're looking for here.  Are you looking for ideas beyond the stereotypical flowers and candy and such for romance, or are you just complaining that she doesn't like the lack of romance?

nyc artist

I agree with what others are saying. It's the little, romantic, unnecessary (and usually not costly) things that women want. You may do plenty for her which you think shows love. But women need the extra stuff.

I had this discussion with my DH not that long ago. He does things that show love in his way, like putting up shelves, filling up my gas tank. While those are thoughtful, they are "practical" and I don't always want "practical".  I want him to be spontaneous sometimes, and come home with flowers, or even a card. Heck, a hand written note is great too! It doesn't take too much. Just the thought is what we're looking for.

P.S. I'm pretty sure all women HATE having to ask for this stuff....so if you wife is sounding naggy, it's cause she was hoping you would get the idea on your own. lol.

ford65

As you can see Im not the best writer so that is out of the question but I can get her a card.... I have gotten a card before and it went well, I believe its time for another one.

You know this is good stuff some time us men get comfortable in our life and we need a reminder. I'm glad I posted good stuff... By the way today Im going to try and get some Whisper tickets. Her favorite group but Im late so I dont know if its sold out....

 A mans question: Do we like if a woman tells us what they want so we dont have to quess? Lady its not that we are slow... LOL

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slldMEPvUqA

ElleB87

So what are you looking for here?

It sounds like you know what needs to be fixed - you need to show your wife you appreciate her - so do it then. When she asks you to do something, do it. When she brings up a concern, listen to her. Put an effort into your relationship, it's not rocket science.

Also, please try to edit your posts as they are quite difficult to read.

KBachofer

I will tell you what I tell my husband. Just opening the car door for me or leaving a love note on the counter before you leave for work makes me feel special. You don't need a lot to make me smile, which I'm sure your wife feels the same way. It's the little things that matter! Try planing a date night for the two of you. If am right, you guys were probably crazy about each other when you were dating, so try to bring that feeling back by taking her to a place you would have taken her on one of it your first dates, like bowling, a concert or movie! If you wanna spice it up maybe take her shopping for lingerie, either way you go try to be sensitive. Oh....try calling or texting her in the middle of the day just to say you love her! Good Luck:)

MrsH8611

breezalina82:

You don't have to spend a lot of money to show her you care and love her. Why not cook her favorite meal? If you have kids see if someone could watch them while you have a romantic meal at home for two. Hopefully you know her well enough by now to know what she likes, and what would bless her. Maybe a back rub. I don't know. I love leaving little notes for my DH, and that only cost time and thought. If you love her, it's worth it. 

 

EXACTALLY