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WildFlower2350
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Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Anyone else have newlywed adjustment "issues"?
in Married Life
I got married in April...and my husband is topnotch amazing..though Ill be honest...I am having a little bit of hard time adjusting in some ways- the name change was one that took a while and sometimes, just sometimes, stuff he did before that didnt bug me, now bugs me- (stupid stuff...like yesterday he shaved and his little hairs were ALL over the sink in the morning...Im thinking- umm do you not know how to turn on a faucet???). Also- anyone having to find balance with expectations with in-laws? Just curious. I hear the first year of marriage is the hardest and I wouldnt say its "hard" just some little bumps and Im curious about other newlywed's experiences...
Re: Anyone else have newlywed adjustment "issues"?
I can only speak from my experience but our first year was very different. Which is funny because we lived together for two years! But there was something about knowing there is a next step after marriage (i.e children and a home) that kind of through us for a loop.
Like I said I can only speak about me personally, but I felt like I emotionally had to adjust to life as a wife and not as a girlfriend/fiance. I now had an entire second family, who I love, I had a home, we had pets, we shared a bank account, his accountant did my taxes, my insurance changed. It was a lot to squeeze into 1 year. On top of that I kept thinking well there is a next step after this... babies! I also think because of the emotional stress I put on myself I found a lot of little things to pick on my DH about. To be honest though, after our first year of marriage I somehow sat back and looked at my life and my actions and realized how blessed I was.
There is definitely a lot to adjust to emotionally wise but if you and your DH can find a way to talk things out you will be fine. And somethings you will learn to brush off. Like the stubble in a sink, I hate it too but it's not worth me getting angry over.
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I think maybe you're having a hard time adjusting, and getting annoyed easier, due to marriage being permanent. Nothing wrong with that but just don't let it get to you to much. Just remember effective communication is key. Talk about things and you'll be ok. It takes time to adjust, for some people it's a short amount of time and others much longer.
We had a rough year because I got very ill and was sick for months. So we had a rough first year for a different reason.
This. Having studied sociology, psychology and social work.....getting married can definately throw people for a loop...even if you have already lived together. Mostly because those vows and those rings imply permanency. Its not just easy to back out if you don't like how the other person acts anymore, and that often makes us more critical of that other person, we want to make sure they are what we expected and we often raise our expectations of the person we marry to be higher then the person we were dating...even if they are the same person!
Having said that, I think the hardest for me has been balancing the inlaws. My H is an only child, and his extended family is small, he is expected to be at every birthday, every holiday, every time his parents feel like eating out, etc...meanwhile my family is huge -including 2 little nephews, and I really feel like I miss out when we go to everything his parents want us at (becaue they will constantly phone, txt and nag until we show up) and can only make it to some of the things my family is doing. They are getting better, but its a learning curve for them too.
As said by the pp, we all go through adjusting, some people just adjust quicker then others and some might not even notice the sutle differences and assume nothing changed, and theres nothing wrong with that.
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