Not really TIP, but would like opinions pls!

JemmaWRX

My husband and I work for the same company.  Two different departments, two different locations.  He's been looking for other jobs, to no avail.  A new posting comes out the other day for a better job, within the company, sounds like a great opportunity, something he would be really good at, etc.  But he will report to the same location as me... we might even be on the same floor if he gets this job (he actually might work right around the corner, that's where his future would-be boss sits).  Then again, maybe not, can't really know for sure.

I am so happy for him and excited.  This has been a long time coming.  He really doesn't like his current position (long hours, mediocre pay, weekends - YUCK!).  This would be a typical, Mon to Fri, 9-5 with new challenges, in a new, up and coming department.  A lot of room for growth, increased earning potential, opportunity to get into a management role, and so on.

I feel uneasy about working so closely.  Granted we would be in two totally different and unrelated departments.  And it sounds like he will be on the road maybe half the time.  Still, I can't shake this feeling like this might not be good for us, as a couple.  Here are my concerns - 1.  I don't worry about professionalism.  But, if we have an issue at home, I like going to work ALONE.  It's an opportunity for us to go to our respective corners, re-evaluate, etc.  2.  I enjoy that time apart.  It makes me miss him a little.  And I appreciate him more when we finally both get home at the end of the day.  3.  Maybe this is stupid, but I don't like being "that" couple... the husband and wife that do EVERYTHING together, they even work together.  I suppose I shouldn't care so much what other people think.  But there it is.

I'm like 99% sure I'm not going to say anything to my husband about it as he's really excited.  Plus, we don't really know where this is going to go... it's open to quite a few (as in 100s) of candidates, he would have to interview, etc.  There is the possibility they will pass on him.

 So, am I right for keeping my lips sealed on this?  And IF he gets it, we can talk about boundaries and all that good stuff?

MrsMcC.10409

Don't pass up a good opportunity by borrowing trouble. Unless you're sitting in adjacent cubicles, you should be able to go about your differing days as usual. Also, I don't think anyone will notice you taking separate cars on the random day, and if they do, just tell them you have errands to run after work. I think you're overthinking this one. Best of luck for both your careers!

handfast4me

I work for the same company as my husband, so I totally understand.  We work on different "campuses" if you will.  For a few weeks earlier this year, I had a temporary assignment on the same campus as DH.  I thought it would be fun commuting together, perhaps seeing one another during the day.  We also have totally different types of jobs, 2 entirely different departments.  It was not as good as I thought it was going to be. I decided I really like my alone commute time, on the other side of town.  Bottom line, though, is that if I HAD to do commute with him for the remainder of my career, I could have sucked it up, but I'm a lot nearer to retirement, probably, than are you.   New opportunities will come up for you, too, correct?  Even maybe, in a different company?  No one is stagnant in today's workforce.  So, nothing is forever.   I'm sure if it's for the right jobs, you two can do it. 

srgw

H and I don't work for the same companies but we do carpool to work. I drop him off and continue to my job and then pick him up after work's over for the day. We like it. So it might not be as terrible as you think. Wait and see.

JemmaWRX

Thanks ladies.  We'll have to wait and see!  It's totally conceivable this turns out to be totally not a big deal!  I tend to be a pessimist, and think WAY too far into things.  So this could be alright.  Thanks!

ToneGirl

I'm just like you in that I think WAY into things...drives me insane most of the time but hey, it's who I am.  Anyway, I work in a family business and work with my parents every single day!  That's a whole different story working for your parents BUT my parents have worked together for over 30 years.  They certainly have their "fights" here at the office when things get stressful but it is their own business so it's a little different.  Overall they get along great and their desks face eachother so they are looking at eachother all day long.  I have a lot of respect for my parents...they have been married for over 38 years and still stronger than ever even after seeing eachother every single day all day long!  I wouldn't pass up on this opportunity.  I'm sure you can make it work and keep your "distance" from eachother during work hours to do your own thing.  Good luck!

krissi813

DH and I are "that couple" and we definitely do everything together. We actually do work together in the same office and are separated by only one wall all day. In fact, we sometimes have to work on files together and I have to pass him every time I go to the ladies' room. LOL. Somehow it works for us. Everyone else probably thinks we are pathetic but oh well.

 In all seriousness, though, if you are not in the same department (DH and I are not) then you probably will not have to deal with him much throughout the day unless you choose to. If it a better work opportunity for him, then I think he should take it. 

abby0313

my fiance and I used to work at the same company, on the same team for the majority of our relationship before we got engaged. I understand your concerns here but as long as you and your husband set some rules, I think it will be fine. No bringing home issues to work, no work issues home. If you can keep the professional separate from personal, its best for your relationship based on my experience. Obviously everyone has their bad days at work, I'm not saying you aren't allowed to vent about it but more specifically, don't let work talk take over your conversations.

silly3710

DO NOT say anything to him about your concerns. He may not even get the job. Either way, he may resent you and feel you didn't really want him to get it. I wouldn't even bother having a discussion about boundaries if he does get the job (unless there is a good reason you think this may be an issue). I would be offended if my husband felt the need to tell me how to behave toward him at work as though I didn't have enough sense to behave appropirately. Just take things as they come, if an issue arises, deal with it then. It will probably be something you never even thought of!

silly3710

Off topic, super cute dog! I have a Boston too.

geieran

My H and I are one of those couples, too. :-) We don't ride together everyday, though, since he has to work longer hours than I do. We really enjoy it. We don't work in the same departments, but we work closely enough that we have common factors. It's kind of nice to be able to discuss work with him and he understands exactly where I'm coming from. I never would have thought that I would want to work at the same location as my H, but we really like that we do and we dislike the idea of one of us getting another job. That is how we met, though, so that may be part of it, too. I haven't seen it any other way.