FOREVER?????

Jimmyjamsgirl

I am engaged to be married to a really great man. He is hardworking, sweet, attentive, good in bed, everything I ever wanted.

We are engaged and to be married in May. I love him very much. I AM FREAKING OUT!!!!!!!!!!! Has anyone else had these feelings? I am so afraid of disappointing him, boring him, regretting this, The whole marriage thing is freaking me out. Is this just cold feet? The whole planning thing, his family, all of it.  

chrisandsarahwedding

I had some of the same feelings, it all went away after the wedding. Planning stuff always freaks me out though. I think a lot of people question if it is the right choice for them before the big day... Well, that is if marriage to you means forever and not just a ring and a piece of paper.

SusanH.

If you are not 100% ready to run down the aisle to marry him, STOP! 

PixieChinchilla

I didn't experience this myself, but I know quite a few people who did. I think it's pretty normal to question whether you're making the right decision when it comes to a choice this life changing. Why, exactly, are you freaking out? You might consider sitting down and trying to make a list of the worries in your head. Putting your thoughts on paper can help you sort through them and decide how serious your worries are, or help you realize that you're worrying about nothing and help you to let it go.

melodydriscoll

It was a few days before my wedding that as i was packing my things in my moms house, i had the biggest breakdown. I hadn't been with anyone for over a year, and i was feeling the same things you are. It took some work for me to calm down, honestly i dont think i even calmed down until during the wedding. This is one of the biggest things you'll ever do, so i think it's normal to freak out some. But i knew it was right and was going to work out. I'm sure you'll be fine, but if you aren't feeling 100% then you may need to talk to your fiance. Mine gave me so much peace about everything.

KBachofer

I didn't have the feelings you are feeling! Even though planning a wedding can be very overwhelming and stressful! I had nothing but excitement for my day and my man! If you aren't positively sure maybe you should talk to your SO and discuss your feelings! Maybe he is feeling the same way too. Good luck to you on your journey!

cinderellasjc

SusanH.:

If you are not 100% ready to run down the aisle to marry him, STOP! 

 THIS!!!!!!!  a little bit of cold feet is normal, but if you are having this much doubt, maybe you should take a step back and reevaluate.  GL

toothpastechica

I had a few times during the engagment where I kind of went...whoah am I ready for this? But thats part of the reason we had a longer (1.5 year) engagement..because I knew the guy was right but was freaked out by the timing...giving us lots of time being engaged helped me to solidify how I felt and helped me to feel I wasn't rushing into anything too fast. Take your time now (before you get married...) there is no rush. If you feel rushed (im talking emotionally not because you left tasks to the last minute) , talk to your FI and pick a new date that gives you more time. Its very important to be ready to accept 'forever', BEFORE those vows are said.

Kimbus22

SusanH.:

If you are not 100% ready to run down the aisle to marry him, STOP! 

This.  I don't get "everyone gets cold feet."  No they don't.  And half of that "everyone" gets divorced.  So some people should be listening to their feet!

rwhite0714

Could not agree more with this statement.

Not everyone gets cold feet.  Especially when you are this far away from your wedding.  I did not get cold feet.  I never doubted being with my husband forever.  NEVER

You need to really evaluate your relationship to see if you want to be married to him or just be married, or just have a wedding

sillygoosegirl

I don't understand how anyone could not be scared.  Forever is a long time and you can't know what's ahead.  I've been married 7 years, and I still think it was the best decision I ever made, but I was terrified going into it.  The only way I think I could have avoided being scared would have been by throwing myself into the wedding planning so fully that I didn't have time to think about all the other stuff.  I know I would have been terrified no matter who I was marrying and no matter when I was doing it.  

I read a book called "The Conscious Bride" during my engagement and it really helped me sort out my feelings.  Some fears guide you to better decisions (I'm afraid to be married to someone with a horrible temper), others just need to be accepted for what they are (I'm afraid of being widowed), and others are just irrational (I'm afraid I'm going to start being bothered by the way he squeezes the toothpaste after the wedding, even though it's never bothered me before).  

ourwedding111111

rwhite0714:

Could not agree more with this statement.

Not everyone gets cold feet.  Especially when you are this far away from your wedding.  I did not get cold feet.  I never doubted being with my husband forever.  NEVER

You need to really evaluate your relationship to see if you want to be married to him or just be married, or just have a wedding

I feel this same way.  I've always heard ...everyone has cold feet before they say "I Do".  I didn't, neither of us did.  We both knew immediately that we were with the person we wanted to, and were meant to be with for the rest of our lives.  It's been almost a year of being married, over 4 of us living together.   

Together, we've been thru some great times and some really difficult times, and there's no one I'd rather have by my side. I think some of the pp's are right.  If you are really feeling this way, please re-evaluate now, and talk about it with your FI - be open, maybe you're both feeling the same way.  Just open up a dialogue with him.  Good luck to you.