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Touchy, touchy
My DH is very touchy-feely. My body is very sensitive, so sometimes when he does touch me, It's a natural reaction to pull away because I simply don't want to be touched at that moment. When I say touching, I mean he will either (gently) grab my breasts, or run finger down my sex randomly during the day. It's hard to explain to him what I just mentioned, that I'm sensitive at that moment and don't want to be touched, yet he still gets a little defensive. I hope he's not taking it too personal because ("in the bedroom") I do love to be touched. But just because he's my husband doesn't mean he's entitled to touch me privately at any time he wants to.
Not going to get into detail, but I had been sexually abused when I was very young, and I'm wondering if this pulling away reaction may have a little to do with it. (FYI, I've gone through years of therapy to move on from the abuse, and no longer need it.)
Anyways, correct me if I'm wrong for pulling away. However, if there's anything I can say to him to maybe help him understand this reaction better, I could use the help.
Re: Touchy, touchy
TTC 19 months ~Started RE in March 2014~
DH was not ready for IUI so we waited
~Started acupuncture in May 2014~
~~BFP 7/6/14~~~EDD 3/14/15~~It's a girl!!~~
I'm glad you can relate! And yes, he is aware of what happened. I will have to pay better attention to certain times he does it, but at least it's when we're alone. If it was ever in front of someone I would be pretty upset. This is more of an annoyance, really. But for another example, just this morning we were watching tv on the couch, and he randomly pulls my pullover down, and as I quickly pulled it back up he said, "What? I just wanted to see them (breasts)." I'm thinking, dude, you see them everyday anyways!
I don't have a skin issue or have been abused and I still get this way from time to time. H and I have been together for 11 years and it happens once in a blue moon because H gets overly excited. It's ok, I just gently remind him and he's sorry, then it's all good. It just takes time and constant reminders when it happens. Telling him when a good time would be or telling when you want it is helpful. Just remember communication is key.
ETA: Is there a different way he can touch you or something he can do to show his interest in you?
I think holding my hand or pitting his hand on my thigh is good enough for me. Thanks, you have good points, too.
TTC 19 months ~Started RE in March 2014~
DH was not ready for IUI so we waited
~Started acupuncture in May 2014~
~~BFP 7/6/14~~~EDD 3/14/15~~It's a girl!!~~