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My husband is just plain unhappy
There's a lot of back story going on and I'll fill in the blanks where is needed but I need help.
I'm not sure if he's depressed, stressed, or just plain unhappy but either way its the hardest thing to see the person you love to not be happy.
He lost the job he loved and was very good at two years ago and took the opportunity to go in the direction he has always wanted to. He went back to school and finished his masters, a few mistakes were made, and he didn't get his Teaching degree, just a degree in Education (Teaching comes with the license and Education does not) thus he cannot teach in any public schools.
Rolling with the punches he's moved unto commission art as his career. He's at home all day and to be honest, what he's making now just isn't enough.
I think he feels like a failure and sometimes thinks I view him that way too (This has come out in discussions and it broke my heart to hear it).
Whenever I suggest some other job he either gets offended or finds some reason that the job "isn't right" or "won't work out". A day can be completely ruined by one thing going wrong and it completely snowballs from there. Sometimes he is so negative he's impossible to be around.
I want to help but I feel so helpless in the situation. Any suggestions?
Re: My husband is just plain unhappy
If he wants to be a teacher, why doesn't he just get his license in teaching?
There are also private schools and parochial schools that he can teach in, in the interim.
THis is a tough situation. He could see an analyst or counselor on his own to cope with the fact that stuff changed and now he has to head in an entirely different direction, due to his job situation changing but to tell you the truth, the only person who can understand what a job loss (due to layoff or the field changing, etc.) is like is somebody who has been there himself first hand.
And nobody understands long term unemployment -- another growing problem. Blame this on the economy, on not enough jobs for everyone and blame this on companies who seem to be looking for something that does not exist: the perfect (and cheap to hire) employee.
It used to be that you were able to find another job in a field that is related to the field you were in. Not anymore. These monkeys want a whole other degree and another 10,000 years of experience IN that job before they will consider you for an interview. It sucks.
It also used to be that you'd be able to take 2 or maybe 3 courses in an entirely different subject and then get a job in that field utilizing what you learned in those 3 classes. Those days are gone, too.
I am gainfully employed and looking: I've gone on interviews that have floored me: one hiring manager told me he was interviewing 15 people for the job that was open (this was a plain ole admin assistant job). The next day, he had another ad on line AND in the paper! You have to wonder what's up when a hiring manager and company does that: it's just plain nuts. And not necessary at all.
Everybody simply says "oh just go out and get a job." Preaching to the choir. It should BE as easy as that.
Or they say "I can't see why a guy like that just can't find a job; he must be saying or doing something wrong." Or you get accused of being lazy, being some kind of oddball or somebody who just wants to live off the system.
It just plain sucks. Nobody understands.
He needs therapy just for the fact there's some kind of self-esteem issue involved.He would benefit from it.
^^^^^ This is all very good advice. I'm sorry for the rough patches your family has hit. Your DH sounds like a classic case of disappointment, frustration and depression. Both Career and personal counseling would benefit him. Best of luck!
Nestie Bestie with the lovely RockABye
We live in weird times.
9/11 took a lot of the jobs away --- and outsourcing and offshoring got rid of a good many of our jobs.
Even radiologists are being outsourced. They take the xrays and other radiological test data and transmit it via the interwebs. Docs from other countries do the interpretation and send back the results.
Who ever heard of a doctor losing his or her job??? It's happening. To not a lot of radiologists right now but looks to me like the handwriting is on the wall with that one. How in heck do you retrain somebody who did 4 years of college 4 of med school and several years in a fellowship or residency??? What type of job are you supposed to tell them to get?
I don't know if you can try to get into another residency for another specialty. But wow, who expects highly trained doctors to get laid off?
And the lack of business manners is horrific --- I had this message left on my answering machine: "Hello. YOu sent me a resume. I want you to come in for an interview: 555-5555."
Uh, who are "you"? How about identifying yourself with your name and company and what job is open in your company??? This is how you do business?