Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Strange situation
Before I met DH I had many sexual partners, and have had a lot of sex. I obviously enjoyed it very much, but I never had a real honest to goodeness orgasm until DH and I got together. However, I think since we've been together it's only happened again about 5 more times. I'm not complaining, I think it's kind of neat that it's my husband that's been able to do this. But at the same time I'm a little concerned that it's so difficult for me to climax. Is there a solution to this?
Re: Strange situation
Uh... did you ever investigate exactly why you were not having orgasms???
There's no such thing as "difficulty in climaxing." Blame this on lack of sex ed, lack of being in touch with your body...and lack of masturbation.
I suggest you masturbate. If you've done so, heck, you sure would have had an orgasm a long long time ago.
Get in touch with your body. Take the time to discover what touches turn you on and then show him.
I am also guessing that none of these guys went down on you and your H probably doesn't either. Oral sex is another sure fire way to get an orgasm. It's a win win situation.
Wow -- what exactly did you do when you were with these other guys when it cam to not having an orgasm?
Either they never made sure you came (this is pretty bad in itself) or you let them think you did (even worse)
You've classified it as "kind of neat"? Uh, you can DIY! Wait a minute...you can't do it yourself since you don't know how to....start masturbating. Immediately. You're missing out on a world of wonder.;)
I apologize, I wasn't too in depth with this post. Before meeting DH I would masturbate a lot! I've had little orgasms by pleasing myself, I just meant not a real orgasm during intercourse. I'm not big into oral, and when I would receive it, I would try to show where it felt good but again, it was very difficult to climax. My H has given it a few times to me and he accomplished it once.
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Yes definitely I think thats a good point
Honey: an orgasm is an orgasm. Whether you do it yourself or your partner does, an orgasm is an orgasm.
Where the heck were you during sex ed? Asleep?
Something is wrong here. Either you don't know what an orgasm feels like and you're not being forthcoming here or you aren't comfortable enough with your body that you know what will give you an orgasm and every time.
Not every woman can orgasm through intercourse. That's just how it is; nothing wrong with it.
Take the time to really explore your body. I suggest it strongly.
ha, ok.
*meant to also add* you're right, orgasm is an orgasm. Apologies. It was the orgasm during intercourse i was having trouble with, but since you said not every woman can climax that way that makes more sense.
Definitely not unusual not to climax from penetration, if that's what you're talking about. Take a look at the anatomy some time. The prime locations of nerve endings on male and female genitalia are excellent for male pleasure and not so much for the female. The head of the penis gets tons of stimulation from penetrative sex, but the clit doesn't. And not all women are capable of g-spot orgasms, on top of the fact that a penis is unlikely to have the kind of contact necessary to create one. To add to all of that, most of the nerve endings aside from clit and g-spot are very close to the vaginal entrance, so deep thrusting may not do much for most women.
/science. Sorry for the bio lecture.
No, its fine, thank you. That makes sense
Perhaps she grew up somewhere like Utah where sex ed is not taught. They feel like it will make kids want to have more sex so they just pretend like it doesn't happen and leave it up to the parents to discuss (the extent of sex ed is this is a penis, this is a uterus) A lot of parents don't actually want to discuss it either. So, to be a bit confused about this topic doesn't surprise me.
Im from TX, but I don't recall having a class that taught sex. I just remember learning about STDs in some adolescent class. I learned about sex at a very young age though, unfortunately.
Yeah, I think the majority of our STD education was: They're bad! don't have sex. We had (or still have perhaps) some of the highest teen pregnancy rates and most of us believe it is because of this. Even the meager education that is available in schools, in some districts, the parents can opt out of even that and the student won't have that either. :-/