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Dreams...
Ok I lost my grandfather about 2 years ago from a disease that hardens your organs. Since then, I've had at least 2 dozen dreams about him. I don't know what they mean. night before last I had a dream that I was at their home that he died in and I was panicking trying to find him because he wasn't in his bed. So I walk in to his favorite room that he was always in ( it was filled with pictures and memories from when he was a young cowboy ) and he was sitting dead in his favorite chair.
Last night I had another that I went to visit him and he was telling me how much he loved me and giving me advice, etc.
I don't know what they are supposed to mean..its so confusing. I feel like I have come to terms with his death, but then I have these dreams and all these feelings of grief and unfairness flood back to me and I go back to how I was when he first passed ( a wreck ).
Can anyone interpret these....all the dreams I've had are somewhere along these lines....he's either dead and I'm the one that finds him or he's alive and happy telling me how much he loves me and they are usually in the order that I explained - I have the bad one the first night, then the good one the 2nd night...then go a month or two with nothing then again...
Re: Dreams...
Hmmmm.... i'm not the best dream decoder but my dad passed away when i was 16 and when my life is stressful i tend to dream about him, sometimes the scary dreams about finding him dead (which i did in RL) and then other times the comforting dreams like you mentioned happening second. I think dreams about dead people are how they communicate with us after death. Maybe look at the good ones as a type of "email" from him letting you know he loves you. The bad ones might just be your subconscious fears about death and maybe some unnecessary guilt you have (guilt is a part of greif that everyone goes though). Maybe he communicates with you after having those bad dreams so you he can help you to not feel guilty or scared or upset.
I might sound like a wack job but its just a thought!
That actually makes a lot of sense to me! and it made me feel better. My husband always tries to comfort me by saying that he is watching over me, and by you saying that is his way of trying to comfort me...makes me feel soo much better. I do feel a bit of guilt for not visiting him one last time before his death, but I left with a good memory of him. He still looked healthy and could still talk to me. My parents actually suggested I not see him during his last days, they say he was doing pretty bad. At his funeral it didnt look anything like him...it was horrible. My husband actually got to help carry the casket ( I know theres a name I just can't think of it because a fly just tried to go up my nose and now i'm irritated)...Ok, I'm gonna go dig out my fly swatter now...
Palbearer is the term your thinking of. I'm a funeral pro over here.
Guilt is normal but i'm sure he knew you loved him and thats why he's telling you that in your dreams.
Open caskets freak me out soo much, they never look right.
When my dad passed i found him and had such a bad last memory of him that i was afraid to go to sleep. I strarted to sleep better once I started to put together a slideshow with photos of him, but my brother still thought i needed to see him again and made me go to the viewing and he was practically purple (he died of pulminary fibrosis which is a blood clot in the lungs) and it completely wrecked me... absolutely horrible.
In all honesty you will probably continue to go through random greif stages for a while. I'm going on 7 years and still have them so often. Just remember that anything you feel whether it be guilt, or anger, or acceptance, or just depression is all just a part of the process to feel better!