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s/o: Do you like spending holidays with inlaws?
Lauren's comments in the TGD post brought an interesting topic....how do you feel about spending holidays with in-laws? Dread it...not so bad??
First...we try and alternate holidays every year. Like this year will be T'giving with my mom, and then Christmas, we will be spending with B's family.....
I honestly don't mind spending holidays with my inlaws. My MIL has always been very considerate of me and including me over the last few years. She has asked me specifically "what makes the holidays special for me" in terms of foods, traditions...and she has always tried to incorporate things that are special to me into their celebrations.
I didn't love the one Christmas that we have spent with them...only because B's little sis was kind of craptastic that morning...LOL....and we have a "tradition" in my family that we open gifts one at a time...like we wait turns and "oh and ah" over whatever that person opening the gift got. They just kind of went at it...and I had no idea what everyone got when it was all over.
Re: s/o: Do you like spending holidays with inlaws?
I've only done Thanksgiving so far. Neither of our families makes a big deal out of Easter, so that's kind of out.
I've gone to his family for 2 years - last year we went to CT with mine. I don't mind going up to his family - they are very nice and sweet - but it just never feels like a holiday to me. The only thing similar food-wise they do to my family is turkey, and his grandmother cooks it by slicing it all off the bone (same with ham) and then putting the slices all mixed together in the oven to bake - so the turkey tastes like ham. I hate ham. :-)
I have no idea what we'll do about Christmas - next year will be our first married year, so that's when we'll decide. I get about 5 weeks off at Christmas between semesters, so I usually go home for a couple of weeks. I have no idea what we'll end up doing.
We live 2 hours from our families. Our families are in the same area, so no splitting holidays. I sometimes think it would be easier if we did.
I don't mind spending holiday's with my in-laws, but there is never enough time. It makes things stressful and not always enjoyable.
Well first let me explain our situation. We live like 5 minutes from my mom/dad and about 3 hours from DHs. So come the Holidays they make me feel guilty if we don't spend it with them since they don't see each other as often. I understand that too. So they don't do a big Thanksgiving so we spend it with my family. Then every Christmas is with In laws. Its depressing b/c of course I want to be with my family and they miss me being at every Christmas.
Its not horrible. They are nice to me and get me nice gifts. But like every family its different the way they do things, what they eat, etc. My mom always makes huge homecooked meals and they sometimes do tacos or pizza, which is NOT christmasy to me at all.
We have a really hard time figuring out how to do the holidays. We live 10 minutes from my ILs and 2 hours from my family so we don't see my family that often. But my MIL always wants us to spend Thanksgiving day, christmas eve, and christmas day with them so it is always difficult to compromise with her. However, once we figure it out I do enjoy being there . They have their own traditions that they have incorporated me into.
This year it won't be that hard because I have to work on thanksgiving and christmas day
. So DH will spend Thanksgiving with his family and Christmas Eve with my fam and Christmas night with his fam.
In the past I have not minded spending the holidays with my in-laws. My parents are out of the country so then we would spend holidays with DH's family since they live about 30 min. from us. If my parents were coming home then we would just spend it with mine.
I always missed my family b/c DH's side is alot different than mine. Similar to Lauren's in-laws his side just dug into presents and nobody was paying attention to what each other got.
This Thanksgiving we are going to my brother's house in Bham. We aren't exactly on speaking terms with DH's parents right now - so who knows if/when we will spend another holiday with them. (They actually haven't seen Jude since the day he was born!)
I am in the same situation as others and our familes live close, about 30 min from each other. My family lives in the city and his live in a very small farming community. So we have to split time. It is really stressful because sometimes since we try so hard to split time evenly AND enjoy time with each other and DS since it's our time off work too. His family doesn't really get that just because we are in Dothan that doesn't mean we are spending time with my family. Some of the time we go off on our own and do stuff like shop, buy stuff we are needing, etc. This is especially hard if we are home just for a weekend because that's usually our time to get stuff done.
In terms of holidays, I agree with pp. It is hard to not think about what your family is doing that you're not there for. I remember the first Christmas morning I woke up at ILs w/o my family there I cried the whole time I was in the bathroom getting ready. DH didn't get it. I really do like my DH's family, but his mom worries over everything and acts all nervousy and panicky. It's not because of me though because she's always been that way. She hovers and never really sits down and relaxes. It really kind of puts me on edge. She's also very pessimistic which also bothers me.
It's also hard b/c DH's family is not really flexible in their plans. Thanksgiving is at noon and Christmas is at 7 am. So...I feel like my family gets the "leftovers." We did eat Thanksgiving lunch with my family last year for the first time in our 4 married Thanksgivings. Thank goodness my family is flexible...
I think you just have to learn to comprimise and figure things out year to year. It's definitely not easy though...
LOL...craptastic...and I too hate it when I can't see what others get...
This is VERY similar to our situation (even down to the weird food - cheese dip for dinner multiple nights?), but we still split the holidays rather than one get Thanksgiving and one get Christmas. It will probably change once we have kids.
I love my inlaws, but they are a little much.
My parents live about 2 hours away, and my MIL is in FL. My grandparents are in GA, and DH's extended family is in Ohio.
Usually, Thanksgiving is with MIL, because that is especially important to them. Christmas Eve/Day is always with my parents because that is really important to us-and DH actually really enjoys it being that way
The day after Christmas we see extended family-in past years we met up with MIL and went to see DH's grandpa in Ohio. I'm definitely glad we did so because he passed away in 2007.
Last year we went to my parents for Christmas, then went to see my grandparents together, and then went to MIL's for New Years- but truth be told we were gone way too long! lol. It was almost 2 weeks in total by the time we were finished. We stretched ourselves too thin. :-P
We saw my grandmother recently so I think this year we are planning on Thanksgiving in FL, Christmas in AL, then Ohio.
Things are different but I really love Ohio at Christmas time because it actually snows up there! lol. DH's family is so sweet, it's always fun
Last year we spent Thanksgiving and Christmas w/ DH family b/c he had to work both days. This year we're doing Thanksgiving with his fam and Christmas with mine. We'll alternate unless he has to work.