My husband and I have been together for 10 years, but only married two. Right now we are kind of going through a rough patch. I recently gave birth to our beautiful daughter. Since I've been back to work we've had more fights over the same issues then before. For instance, I work in an office. He is a truck driver. Major work environment differences. I respect what he does, but he doesn't respect the fact that things may change in an office setting. I'm not supposed to be on my phone, yet I find myself texting him all day even letting him know when I go to the bathroom. The other day my department had a huge brainstorming session off site and decided to go to lunch. That turned into an all day arguement because I was choosing them over him and "I don't understand how you can work with these people all day everyday and want to go to lunch with them." It go to the point that I just told him no more talking during the day and he just thinks it the stupidest idea ever. My point is, if we don't text all day we will actually be able to have a full convsersation when we get home instead of abosorbing ourselves in our phones and not talking.. I know I can't make him understand how it's different, but how do I help realize we have differences and it's ok to have differences. That we aren't always going to agree on everything, but we can agree to disagree?
Re: Our differences
Sounds like he has a crazy jealous streak....that is a big issue that should be addressed.
Regardless, has he ever met the folks in your office? That could help him understand your life a bit.
You two had an extended argument because you were out of contact for half a day? That's ridiculous. First of all, if he's a truck driver, why the hell is he texting all day? That's seriously dangerous. Secondly, when you're at work, you have a job to do. Contact during down time is fine, but the idea that he has to keep tabs on you to the point of when you use the restroom is seriously controlling.
Turn your cell phone off the second you walk into the office. Give your DCP your office number in case of emergencies, but not your DH. Retrain him to understand how to behave like a grown up.
Also - he needs to learn how to pick his battles, and how to admit when he's in the wrong. If this is not something he's picked up as an adult, then perhaps some couples counseling is in order. You've described a couple of real red flags in just a couple of paragraphs.
Nestie Bestie with the lovely RockABye
1. stop texting him
2. stop responding to his texts
3. therapy asap
If he's not the type of man who will admit he is in the wrong, I would definitely suggest therapy. Only an outside voice might be able to convince him that he is being overly controlling.
Nestie Bestie with the lovely RockABye
he is a controlling jealous man and a BIG RED FLAG should be waving in front of your eyes!!
Trust me, I have been there and will never return!!!
1. It is a lonely life, and I do understand why he seems worried about what you're doing at home and is expressing that by being weirdly possessive. It often feels like the world is just moving on without you out there.
2. That aside, txting on the road in a truck is highly illegal, and his company will fire the crap out of him for it. He should be reminded of that.
If he can't handle a healthy relationship while having a job that requires him to be away, he should look into other jobs.