Politics & Current Events
vlagrl29
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
? for those that are married/relationship
Through this whole debate process I have been thinking how hard it would be to be married to someone that doesn't have the same political beliefs as you. Is anyone on this board married or in a long term relationship with someone that is in a different party? what is that like? I told DH we would be fighting all the time and driving each other nuts.
Re: ? for those that are married/relationship
my read shelf:
Yep. DH is much more conservative than I am because of his religious upbringing and we've definitely gotten into some heated arguments but for the most part we can have pretty reasonable discussions. I bring up my points, he brings up his. Sometimes we see where the other is coming from, sometimes not. We don't talk politics often, though. I wish he would be more socially liberal, and I think he will one day - he was just terribly sheltered growing up and very devout in his religion so it's hard to break from that comfort zone. Yelling and getting mad at him for his beliefs isn't productive because he gets defensive. I need to get him to see that not everything is black and white or that what he's been raised to believe isn't always the case.
I totally agree with you. I can't even imagine being married to someone of a different political persuasion. I vote based in my conscious, and I don't know that I could even be in love with someone whose values and beliefs were so vastly different than mine.
My husband's parents are Republican, so I am grateful that the apple fell far from the tree. He also would not fit in very well with my family if he were conservative (he has a super small family that does not talk politics and I have a large one that does), so I can't even imagine that scenario ever working.
My husband and I are similar except for one issue. Gay marriage/homosexuality in general. I support, he is against.
We seriously cannot talk about it. It goes on for hours and solves nothing. Still love him though lol.
My husband and I certainly don't agree on every issue. We don't often vote the same way. He's Libertarian leaning towards Republican, I'm Green leaning towards Democrat.
Once we realize that we disagree on a topic, we stop discussing it. We're not going to change each other's minds, and it's pointless to fight about it. It's really not that hard or a big deal. It's not like we don't have other things to talk about.
Well, my own views have evolved, and are still evolving. 5 years ago I was staunchly moderate and now I'm much more liberal. As I have different life experiences, my eyes are opened, my thought process changes. My husband listens to conservative radio and has mostly conservative friends he made at church. When he comes home with something he's heard that's been given the Fox News spin and I can fact check him, he appreciates it and listens. The man treats me like gold and is an amazing father to our son. I married him for life and I'm not going to let some difference in opinions on politics come between us. We'll just continue to talk about it and I hope that one day he can be more open-minded. I'm sure he hopes I'll become more conservative, lol, but we make it work because we love each other so much.
DH and I are politcally neutral, so we don't vote. BUT we have discovered that if we did, we would vote differently. I would vote Obama, he would vote Romney. Since we actually don't vote, we don't talk about it much so it's not really a big deal.
I grew up in a politically split household. And my mom's parents are politically divided as well.
We have to set ground rules at family functions- no politics unless we are ganging up on the crazy cousin-in-law who believes Alex Jones. That's fair game.
Their political differences don't define who they are or their relationship. It works.
The phrase "hard-core conservatives" scares me.
I am very glad that works for you! But I am being 100% honest in saying that it would NOT work for me. If my husband came home spouting fox news to me, he would lose my respect. And I think mutual respect is super important. I really trust his opinion and turn to him for advice. I could not do that if he listened to Rush Limbaugh with anything other than derision.
Ha, well, if mine was actually listening to Fox News I might have to divorce him!
Just kidding. He does listen to Christian stations, though, so they have that Right spin on what they talk about. But his faith is extremely important to him. He was in a bad place before we got married, drinking heavily, getting into fights with co-workers - totally unlike him - and Christianity is what saved him from going further into a downward spiral so I'd never begrudge him his faith. It's just been my mission now to make him see that you can still be Christian and not anti-gay marriage, etc. It's hard when he gets enjoyment and comfort out of listening to sermons on the radio and in church but still takes in the messages I don't agree with like being gay is a choice or that abortion is wrong in every case.
It is really hard at times, believe me. But I feel there's more hope for him to be with someone like me who will work hard to lead him to a place where he can be more open-minded than with someone who holds the same beliefs as he does/did. And in turn, I think our children will learn to be more open-minded and tolerant than, for example, my nieces and nephew who are being raised to believe that evolution is a lie and homosexuality is an abomination.
There are certainly times when I wish we were on the exact same page politically, that it might make things easier, but I just love him and know that even if we continue to be politically divided over the years it won't break us.
Well, I've kinda changed my mind after reading that! I guess if you love someone, you take the good and the bad and, as you said, you try to open their mind to ideas and scenarios they may not have considered before.
I think if I had fallen in love with someone with different views, I would not automatically have dumped him when those views became clear...but I can't imagine I personally would have fallen for for someone so different. I am super liberal - not middle of the road. I think if my views were more moderate I could make it work.
I agree. I think DH and I were both more moderate when we met and fell in love. Over time, I've become more liberal and he more conservative. Now I just have to get the hook and drag him back to the Left.
I think it helps that he doesn't try to impose his beliefs on me, or my family, or anyone else. He'll gladly talk about them if people want to but he's not on a mission to get everyone to believe the same way he does. And I'm the same way - for the most part, I keep my beliefs to myself unless someone expresses interest in hearing them. If he was more zealous it would probably irritate me more.
DH is a card-carrying socialist.
I don't have a party currently.
DH constantly gets mail from Mittens claiming that he (DH) is one of the "most prominant republicans in our state".
We have a good laugh over that every time it happens.
In my DH's 45 years on this earth, he has never voted. He has watched my passion for being involved in the political process and for the first time this year he is voting. I am so proud!
He also grew up in a very conservative family, his father is a minister. He leans conservative but for some reason LOVES listening to NPR.
He and I think alike on so many things and we love to debate politics (heck, we will debate anything). Even though we agree on so many things, it can get pretty heated.
When I met DH he was a registered Republican, but only because that's what everyone in Texas did and he really didn't know any better.
Then he moved to Portland, learned about politics, and is a registered Independent and votes very liberal. And he reads and watches the news quite a bit.
wrong side = right side
Was Jesus a Republican?
I bet your parents feel like giant failures. Bless their hearts.
Jesus was a Jewish liberal who was almost socialist.
YWIA.