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H never wants sex!
I need help! My husband hardly EVER asks for anything sexual and if he wants anything its always for me to pleasure him and I usually get forgotten even if prior promises were made. Its now been a month since we've had sex. We've only been married a little over a year. This shouldn't happen yet! Right? This is not the first time its been this long either. Has anyone else experienced a husband lacking in sexual drive this much before? Seriously he doesn't even want to be pleasured that much himself either. I have to pester him and almost beg for sex somtimes. PLEEEASE help me!!
P.S. I've explored the possibility of him maybe going to other...sources...but I'm absolutely positive that's not it so if that's your input please don't waist your time.
Re: H never wants sex!
You need to sit down with him --- no interruptions and talk at length -- and discuss what is happening.
I suggest a full checkup. Could be something physical, like a thyroid or hormonal problem -- but if all is fine and all of his levels are normal, something else is in the mix.
He then owes it to you to make good on his half of the bargain. Twice a week would be great; 3 times a week would be fabulous. I do not think that is too much to ask.
I also don't know your ages and I don't know your sexual backgrounds. If he is relatively inexperienced, could be he's still shy about more or less going after what he wants.
What I find disturbing is that you say he more or less says he'll do this or that and then he drops the ball. He's not supposed to be doing that. He's supposed to uphold what he has more or less promised you.
Tell him what you have told us.
If you mean you're looking into buy ing toys and having a little fun on your own, nothing wrong with that at all. People still masturbate after marriage whether it's a DIY method or with toys.
If after discussion and a physical checkup nothing improves, that's another story. He's either decided the bedroom door is now closed to you, he's having an affair, he's gay or he's just not into sex for whatever reason. As I always say, you did not get married to have a glorified roommate.
You can either move on and find another guy who thinks you're hotter than a fuse or ask your H for an open marriage, where you can pursue other sexual outlets with men while still being married to your H.
Hoping you can get to the bottom of this soon. This isn't the norm and this sure isn't healthy. GL.
ETA: This problem is also pretty common on this board --- there are tons of spouses that never wish to have sex with their wives or where the frequency is very very sparse --- who knows why?
I don't know whether to blame this on "absolute beginners" or celebate relationships --- something is afoot here.
You might also want to see a sex therapist with your H. Something's in the mix here and the 2 of you need to work on this issue as a team, no exceptions, no backpeddling. This is all about character and devotion and making your spouse happy and making sure your spouse is satisfied in all areas of your relationship.
I really feel for you! I have a similar problem with my husband and it can definitely leave you feeling rejected and unattractive etc. I am also in the middle of it and i wish i could say it had only been a month... but it's been much longer.
I encourage you to be more bold than myself and broach the subject. The longer you leave it, the harder it is to bring it up
I hope that you can find a way to openly communicate about this with your husband.