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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
leave me alone
Have any of you married folk completely lost interest in having sex with your spouse? I just want nothing to do with DH when it comes to sex, I can't even stand when he touches me in that way. I just want to be left alone. Anyone ever have this happen?
Re: leave me alone
Funny how you posted this because my H and I just had a talk about why I don't have sex with him anymore. I don't have much of a libido and whatever libido I had left was taken by his lack of hygiene, his violence when initiating, and the mere fact I don't have that sexual attraction feeling to him anymore. I view him fondly like a family friend....or an uncle. Yeah that definitely kills your sex life.
TTC 19 months ~Started RE in March 2014~
DH was not ready for IUI so we waited
~Started acupuncture in May 2014~
~~BFP 7/6/14~~~EDD 3/14/15~~It's a girl!!~~
when I was with my ex-husband... it was this way...
I always made the excuse that it hurt, so we didn't have to do anything...
I know how you feel, and as far as suggestions... Im sorry, I don't have any...
GL and I hope everything will work out.
Nope, never had that feeling and if I did, I would have to do some reflection to figure out why. It may be something your DH is doing that is turning you off and communicating that issue may be all you need to do.
It is one thing for sex to become less frequent, but not to want it is not healthy for a marriage. It is my belief that pleasing my husband sexually is one of my wifely duties.
PS- How long have you been feeling like this?
TTC since September 2012
Aside from the lack of sex in your relationship, this post sends up several red flags.
1) Your husband's lack of hygiene. I understand some people have labor intensive jobs that they would have an odor after working, but I hope he showers on a daily basis so you can stand to sleep in the same bed as him.
2) *this is a BIG one!* Violence when initiating? Does he hit you? Push you? Force himself on you? Please reconsider your relationship if your spouse is abusive towards you. It worries me, for you, that he hurts you in any way, but especially when he wants to be intimate.
3) No sexual attraction at all and you view him as an uncle? This is a red flag for the obvious reason but it makes me wonder if you were abused as a child by someone in your family. I have had boyfriends that I didn't care for after a while (but we were still dating) but I never viewed them as an uncle.
Basically, I'm just concerned for you and your relationship. It sounds very unhealthy and abusive. Please seek help, advice, or guidance from someone professional or close to you.
After I got off BCP, my sex drive went away basically. It does suck especially with a husband that would love to have sex 3 times daily and no, I'm not exaggerating. I wish I could get aroused and jump on him more, it's not about him, it's about me and my non existing hormones. I believe sex decreases when you get married, declines even more after children but if you have no interest in husband and it doesn't get better, I wouldn't tell him anything (I don't believe in hurting someone's feelings that way) and I would go to therapy on my own to see if there's an underlying reason for lack of interest.
This is from your post on the other board.
What this is is abuse and nothing but. I'd give serious thought to taking off and filing, if I were you. Ugh, what a creep. Stay safe.
Whoa, hold the phone ---- his hygiene just sucks and he was violent when initiating -- and you view him FONDLY???
Uh, how's that????
Violence??
I'd view him FONDLY going out the door and then slamming it behind him!!!
Holy cow.:(
Pretty much this. Except for the "wifely duties" part as that phrase makes me throw up in my mouth a little. But I wouldn't want to be in a marriage without sex. I think it's a responsibility of both partners to make sure the other is happy.
And the poster who's husband initiates sex with violence needs a counselor ASAP. That is not good and it's not going to go away on it's own.
I read your previous post also. You had some "marital rape" issues? Rape is rape. Just because you're married doesn't make it ok or less than any other kind of unwanted sexual contact.
Your husband is sexually abusive. Please leave before things get worse.
Any man who gets off on the power of humiliating and overpowering a woman sexually, physically, or mentally is a dirtbag. Pure and simple.
By violence, I mean he'll grab me out of the blue and throw me on the bed. To be fair, I told him I liked a little aggression, but I also stated that that's not how I wanted to be initiated all the time but yet here it is. His hygiene is appalling in regards to that he doesn't wear a strong deoderant and I can't even think of the last time he brushed his teeth (and yet he bitches that his gums bleed all the time...) but he does shower daily and we sleep in seperate rooms. I just find his horrid breath being smelled 5 feet away really turns you off when it's 2 inches in front of your face.
By fondly, it's like how you'd view a friend that you hang around with but you never see their living aspects. I see him like a good family friend, someone who knows all about me and vice versa but we don't have any marriage spark. I don't like how he lives and I'm always tired of cleaning up after him. Even when I refuse to pick up after him, it just piles and clutters and it never gets moved until I finally scream at him (even with the prods of "take your s@%% to the bedroom!")
But I don't want to hijack this thread though, so if you want more or what have you, create a new post or PM me.
Ew. I work in the dental field and this grosses me out. Also, it sounds like you just need to divorce this guy.
TTC since September 2012
I really, really hate that term. Why isn't it a husbandly duty?