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Long hard journey (no pun intended)
Here is a little about my story:
I got marred December 2011 (coming up on 1 year!) and was a virgin. We were not able to achieve intercourse on our wedding night....or at any time during our 10 day honeymoon. A close friend of mine is a midwife so once we returned home we went straight to her office. Apparently my hymen was the thickest she had ever seen (and I've even ridden horses my entire life! By all rights it should be gone!). She said that unless she cut it surgically I would most likely not be able to withstand the pain needed to tear it naturally through sex. So 5 shots of local anesthetic in my poor va-jay-jay and 6 cuts with a pair of scissors later, my cherry was popped! But apparently not enough as I had to have it recut a week later. Then a month of healing with physical therapy (to prevent scar tissue from closing up my opening. Yikes!) later I finally had sex! I cried I was so happy! But it still hurt really bad. With my luck I wasn't surprised to find out that I have an unusually short cervix, and DH is a little above what I was told average size is. So when we have sex he hits my cervix and it's pretty painful. But we keep chugging along on and are slowly but surely getting through this. =]
My question was, what positions would you recommend that are not very deep penetration? I have a lot of pain from behind and on top. Missionary is fine, but we would really love to change it up a bit.
Thanks for reading my long post. I wish I had better luck so my post was shorter. lol TIA!
Re: Long hard journey (no pun intended)
See a GYN for follow up.
I also suggest lots and lots of foreplay and go slowly.
Try spooning and maybe doggie style. Also remember that your cervix is "cyclical", just like your periods; I believe it is lower during certain times of your cycle.
You might want to follow up on that with your GYN, also.
First of all thank you for your advice! We will have to try that. ;]
Secondly, while I do respect your opinion, how would me having sex before my wedding make my situation any different? It doesn't matter when it's delt with. It has always been that way.
I believe her point is that this would already have been over and dealt with by this point. And if it's not something fixable or that you guys can both deal with, you would have known before making a lifelong commitment. Being a newlywed is enough of an adjustment without adding sex problems to the mix.
I was going to say on top because it's easiest for you to control things that way but you say that hurts a lot. So I say see a real doctor.
I agree with going back to your gyno and having a frank talk about the problem. If you live in or near a larger city, there are also sex therapists who may be able to help.
As another thought, do you make sure to do a lot of fore play and relax before sex? Not doing those things can make sex much less enjoyable for anyone, but I'm sure that is especially true for your situation. What about sex toys? They have some which are smaller and thinner than the real deal. Might be worth a try to get you used to being penetrated (but use lots of lube!). Just some thoughts.