Public shaming

gwennythepooh

DD is hitting. A lot. We thought it was just at home, but we're slowly starting to hear it's not (DH's mom commented that his aunt mentioned something after watching Claire recently and daycare said something this morning). She hits out of frustration, which I totally get is normal for toddlers. However - I don't want her to think it's okay to hit others and be a brute. Suggestions?

AmandaJLewis

While it feels like she is on the path to being an adorable little bully- this is so normal for the age. She is upset over something and unable to use her words to express that feeling.  Eleni was a biter at the same age. As for working through it, I would stick with catching her hand and firmly saying no hitting, or "i know you are angry but we do not hit" then distracting to something else.  Consistency helps but don't feel discouraged if it sticks around for a while.  It is totally a phase. And until she has skills to deal with her frustration in other ways it will continue.

egpitt22

DItto everything Amanda said.  Liam is starting to hit, too.  Sometimes it's out of frustration, sometimes I think he just does it to get a reaction.  If I'm holding him when he hits (or if he's in my lap), I put him down, kneel down in front of him and tell him that we don't hit, we only use nice touches. 

amyjoy18

DD started the hitting phase early.  Around 12 months--but she's not a juvenile deliqunent yet [:-P]

We actually started doing 1 minute time outs for hitting, and daycare did as well.  If she hit, we'd tell her "no hitting" and she'd go to time out.  At daycare it was in a high chair, and at home it was in her packing play in the dining room.   I was suprised that a child so young would make the connection, but it was the pedi's suggestion and it seemed to work, as the phase was fairly short lived.

AmandaJLewis

Eleni spent a lot of time at the daycare feeding table thing, which is where they put the under 2 crowd for not playing nice. ) 

MrsAmers

One strategy I've found to be useful at many tricky ages is to suggest an alternative way to get out the frustration - stomping feet, hitting a pillow, bang on a drum, shake a noisemaker, etc. 

There are times that you can't really tell them not to be angry, so they need an acceptable outlet for their frustration. Also, sometimes you can transition the stomping into dancing. :-) 

gwennythepooh

I appreciate the feedback ladies. It's funny - logically, I know it's a phase (especially since I taught this age and dealt with this many times). It's such a different feeling when it's MY kid. Luckily daycare is being really great about this and assuring us that it's normal. It's just hard!

northhillsbride

AmandaJLewis:

Eleni spent a lot of time at the daycare feeding table thing, which is where they put the under 2 crowd for not playing nice. ) 

Yup - this describes Conall (aka. the terrorist) too. It's quite comical to walk in and find 3 out of the 5 kids left all sitting in the table. And usually the other 2 belong in there too, but there's no more room!

waltsgirl102503

It's a hard stage for everyone.  But I think once she gets more words and can tell you what she wants, the hitting will get better.   But then, the yelling "NO!!!!  I want choco-milk!!!!!!!!!!!!" begins.  

amyjoy18

northhillsbride:

AmandaJLewis:

Eleni spent a lot of time at the daycare feeding table thing, which is where they put the under 2 crowd for not playing nice. ) 

Yup - this describes Conall (aka. the terrorist) too. It's quite comical to walk in and find 3 out of the 5 kids left all sitting in the table. And usually the other 2 belong in there too, but there's no more room!

This is exactly what I meant by highchair :-)  For Brinely they tried using the crib, but she would just use it as an opportunity to peer over the wall and see what the 2 year olds were doing.