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Intro
Hi all! I haven't lurked on this board much, because I didn't know what BNOTB meant, but now that I know what it stands for, this board seems appropriate for me!
H and I got married in June, and we are both 30 years old. Almost all of my friends are married, and almost all of them have children (some of them are on their 2nd kiddo). Very few of H's friends are married and none of H's close friends have kids. H and I do want to have kids eventually, but we are not ready right now at all. We also don't feel financially stable enough to have kids. However, my mom always says that we'll never fully feel financially stable enough. She might have a point...
I feel like I'm torn about when to start TTC. I'm very Type A, and I am a big time planner, so when plans are out of my control it's difficult for me. So many of my friends have had trouble conceiving and have dealt with infertility issues, and I'm so scared that if H and I wait to start trying, and we run into issues, we will regret that we didn't try sooner. But on the other hand, if we start trying too early and we conceive before we're ready, we could regret that too.....
I'm not asking for advice, because no one can tell me whether I'll have trouble, or when I should start trying. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has felt this way or has been in this dilemma.
Re: Intro
If you do want to eventually have kids, and especially if you're Type A, create yourself a "baby bucket list" - things to do before you start TTC. Go on weekend getaways, stay up late, spend too much money on clothes, drink a lot, etc. When you have kids, the money will be tighter than it already is. And your mom is right, nobody is exactly ready for children. Almost all parents wish they were prepared. But they manage, right?
Lastly, I'm sure you've already thought this through, but your H and you may want to have a conversation about some sort of plan. While 30 is still young, your biological clock is of course ticking. Especially if you want more than one kid. I would wait until your 1st anniversary and then start discussing with your H if you'd like to start TTC.
WELCOME TO THE BOARD!
Thanks for the suggestion about a baby bucket list. That's a good idea. And I should say, H and I definitely agree that we are not even going to consider TTC until at least July, which would be right after our 1 year anniversary. We just don't know if we'll start in July or decide to wait a little longer.
At age 30, my biological clock is not ticking nearly as much as it should be! Honestly if it wasn't for our ages, we would probably wait much, much longer, but we know that if we're going to have 2 kids (which is what we want), we can't wait too long....we're not getting any younger!
I actually feel exactly the same as you do. I am 28 and a lot of my friends (including my two best friends) are currently pregnant. I want to enjoy our marriagfe but its hard with babies literally all around us. I think I have like 8 pregnant friends right now..so its hard to ignore.
I am NOT ready to have a child. I want to be settled into a home that we purchase and financially stable. My husband is back in school for accounting...so I want to wait until he has a steady job making $ so we can afford to have a child.
But at the same time I am worried about concieving. My DH had been tested and has a low count ofr his little men. I am also about 50 lbs overweight now because of a medication so I have to lose that weight before I can get pregnant. This coupled with being on the pill (although they havent found a connection with this and conception issues) for over 10 years, makes me leery that we will have trouble concieving. my mom also had trouble.
I'm worried if I wait until I am 30 or 32 and it takes me a few years to get pregnant that I will be stuggling to deal with that admist my friends over abundance with children. But I have also come to the realization that i am OK with adopting...so in that case, I think its something you have to think about. If you have issues concieving its even mrore of a reason to "be prepared" things like IVF or adoption are EXPENSIVE!! So i have considered that we want to be fully financially prepared for this as well. I am kind of preparing for the worst, and hoping for the best!
Hi! Also new to the board, and feel like I can totally relate. I turn 30 in March, not all of our friends are married, but most that got married around when we did/before/after are starting to have babies. I just feel like we're not financially ready yet, but don't know if I will ever feel secure in that way.
A couple former coworkers of mine in their 30's (32, 33) both have problems and have been trying for the past 2 years plus. This has me worried about waiting too long as you said.
At the end of the day, I know I'm not ready now and hope that there are no issues if/when we TTC. I'm glad to have found this board!