Someone please tell me it's ok...

cmustari

This may seem sort of pointless, but I feel like I need someone, somewhere, to tell me that it is okay. 

My husband and I definitely do not want kids yet, and won't for sometime. I've always said that I'd like to be in at least my 30's when I have kids, although that could change - if you both feel like you're ready, and you're financially able, then I guess you're ready regardless of age.

Anyway, I feel guilty about this. Not guilty enough to have a child now, but guilty enough to think that I'd have one sooner than I really, TRULY want. The reason is mostly because of my father's age. He is almost 65. I just feel horrible that I am the only one who will give him a grand-child, and that if I wait until I'm 30, he will be 70. My mother's health isn't all that wonderful either, and although she is younger than my dad, I just have this complex, this fear that they will be gone and never get a chance to see their grandchild grow up, at least a little.

This seems so ridiculous to me, and I know that my parents probably don't care, as long as I am happy (which I am, and they love my husband). I guess I just want someone looking from the outside in to tell me that it is OKAY to not have children now, or for awhile. That would be such a dumb reason to have a child, and I know this, I'm just afraid of this getting the better of me, and afraid of losing my parents, I guess. I think I'm having a quarter life crisis. I need a therapist. LOL 

KBabe076

You shouldn't be feeling guilty whatsoever for wanting to wait until your ready in a few years.  It's a personal decision.  I understand you want to give your parents grandkids sooner than later but that shouldn't be the reason you start sooner. You and H have to be ready for that commitment and it seems like your not yet.  

Malvagia

I'm like your future self!  I'm 31 and my dad is 70.  My husband and I don't have kids yet and I'm the only one of my siblings who can provide my parents with grandkids any time soon.  Honestly I can wait a year or two to get pregnant.  However I do feel guilty that we may never give my parents grandkids while they're alive.

You need to remind yourself, like I do, that you and your husband are the ones that have to raise the kids, not your parents.

chiualover

I have one child. She just had my grandson last year.

She was 36.

I had thought about maybe never having a grandchild.

And that was OK. What is not Ok to me is someone

having a child that they aren't really ready for. I'm sure

your parents feel the same way.

ReturnOfKuus

My mother didn't start having kids until she was 30, and neither did her mother.  We're all still alive and kicking.  Is there a reason to think that your dad isn't even going to make the average life expectancy?

Maybride2

Of course it's ok.

You could get pregnant tomorrow, and your dad could die in a car wreck next week. 

Don't plan your reproductive future on hypotheticals and fear and guilt. 

EastCoastBride

Maybride2:

Of course it's ok.

You could get pregnant tomorrow, and your dad could die in a car wreck next week. 

Don't plan your reproductive future on hypotheticals and fear and guilt. 

This. 

ginagirl4259Wed186483

Relax. How old were your great grandparents when your parents had you? It sounds like your parents were 35-40. I am sure your parents will want you to have your child when YOU are ready, bottom line.