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Not enough friction?
I haven't posted on here in forever and I don't know why my profile says I'm married because I'm not, nor was I ever, but anyway... I am having an issue and I'm hoping for some good advice.
I recently started seeing a new guy and it takes him forever to *** during sex. We have had sex about 15 times and he has only *** during two of those times. He does *** from head.
We have been having marathon sex sessions (like 45 minutes - an hour) and I get really frustrated/embarrassed that I can't make him ***. I asked him if I was loose and he said I'm normal (whatever that means) and I asked if I get too wet and he said yes, maybe that is the problem. Basically, he said he needs more friction.
Besides from getting a new vagina (kidding... kind of), I don't know what I can do to fix this. I am really at a loss and if anyone has suggestions, I'm open to them. Side notes - I have had 4 past relationships and this has never been an issue before. I know that I do get pretty wet but the loose-ness thing is news to me. I am 25 and he is 31.
TIA!
Re: Not enough friction?
Maybe he somehow thinks intercourse is dirty and verboten but oral sex isn't --- I suggest he take this issue up with a sex therapist. It's fixable.
I don't think there is any such thing as "need more friction." And there is no way a vagina is going to be as tight as a mouth or a fist. I'm thinking it's psychological.
I'm with Tarpon in that it sounds like a psychological issue on his part, especially as you say this has been ongoing since you've been together, rather than a sudden change.
It is easy for anyone, man or woman, to become used to a certain way that works. Some women can only climax with the use of a vibrator, for example, and sometimes in that case a kind of retraining can help.
I know my husband says things like not enough friction sometimes. Generally, if I'm too wet (apologies if tmi) he'll just enter from behind as that makes it easier for us.
Seriously though, if you are worried that you might be loose, go see your ob/gyn. They can rule out any possible medical explanations, but I'm sure you're fine!
Here's another thought from a guy......if you're using condoms, try different condoms. We used to use the regular condoms and with them I can't really feel anything with my wife, so had trouble reaching orgasm. We found the thinner condoms and the fire and ice condoms by trojan give me a lot more feeling and make it easier to achieve orgasm.
We also found that different positions help sometimes too.
I can get incredibly wet sometimes. I will sometimes reach down with my hand and form a fist so that as he withdraws, I am wiping off the excess moisture.
How long are you expecting him to last? Sometimes our sex last 45 minutes....is that too long?
With regards to your guy, he might have a hard time because of he pleasures himself a lot. Most guys do that so they last longer, but it can have the reverse effect and leave you empty and just having sex and being numb below the belt. It's happened to me before.
I would suggest talking to him and having some fun. Role play, different positions, etc. will keep both of your minds off of the "issue" and hopefully if he has something to keep him occupied he won't pleasure him self in the down times.
Did u know u as a woman control what kind of sex u have cuz usually when a couple have sex a man will last only a short while. He can't control the urge to climax and that's where u come in to keep him from climax until you r ready n he to climax together.
Have u heard of keigels[probably misspelled] the muscles that stop your urine flow after u have done peeing. well u can use those muscles to get more friction when your lover is inside u.
When he first he enters u clamp on his member with your vagina and don't let go until u feel u can't control it any more.The vagina is wonderful in that way because it will adjust to what u will it to do. Your man will be moaning like mad n you will feel his wanting to climax so will benefit you greatly too.
One word of caution because your vagina is very tight on his member the wall on your vagina has to be well lubricated so it won't be irritated and cause you some burning later.