husband does not notice me anymore

sunshine1234

hi. i have been married 7 years. we have 2 kids. they are 2 and 5. i recently started to dress like my old self at times. after 2 kids i let myself go. so, my husband does not even compliment me when i dress up to go on a date with him. i know it probably seems silly. but i feel invisible to him. it is so breaking to me. is anyone else going thru this?

how do i get through this? its like he doesmt see the changes i have done to look more presentable. i want to be recognized at some point.

magsugar13

you need to sit down and have a talk with him. tell him how you feel and why it bothers you.  sometimes marriages get into a bit of a slump or routine when you get busy with life. hopefully a conversation with him will wake him up a bit. its good to know that you do date night that is great.

TarponMonoxide

Once again -- and as I always say --- communication is key.

A talk with him is needed. Sit down and get right to the point: "Honey, maybe I'm not at my fighting weight but I have taken great effort to look great  when we go out and you never notice. I'm pretty upset about it" and then let him take the floor.

Compliments are everything, whether you've cooked a great meal or you look fantastic, the same as they are to him when you tell him you're proud of him or that he looks great on a date night.

mattandgail2012

Just because he doesn't say it does not mean he is not noticing.   Ask him directly.  How do you like my dress?  With the weight I lost I am able to wear a size smaller....did you notice?   Then mention how you like compliments and it makes you feel good when he lets you know.   That is not saying he will start saying things to you.  My DH knows I love compliments but I have to go about fishing for compliments if I want them.

RenoisPrettierThanYou

Maybe you look great to him regardless of what you're wearing or changing.

shannon5176

Do you complement him?  I'm just curious because these things go both ways.  Make sure you are telling him he looks hot, thanking him for things he does around the house, etc.  I think we all tend to take each other for granted over time and though I'm sure you love and appreciate him, and he probably loves and appreciates you, you are probably not as verbal about it.  Sit down and talk with him like others have suggested.  Let him know you miss these things.

2012anondude

Why do you think you let yourself go, my friends have told me after having kids this happens often?