Relationships
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Husband tired all the time
I have a question. My husband and I have been together for two years and married for about 2 months. We love each other with all our hearts. However, when he comes home from work I ask him what he would like to do today. Most of the time he says "Whatever you would like to do." I understand he works all day and wants his down time (which is understandable and I let him have his down time). However, we usually just end up watching the TV until he falls asleep. This has happened even before we were married so I'm used to him coming home tired. Sometimes I feel he doesn't want to do anything with me. Its a little hard to do stuff where we live because there isn't a whole lot to do. Is there anything I can do?
Re: Husband tired all the time
Volunteer for something in your town -- they're always looking for extra hands to help in a variety of ways.
There are active activities you and he can do: go for a walk together after dinner, sign up for something like dance lessons, cooking lessons or take an adult school class together -- if you and he are religious, try your house of worship: most definitely at a house of worship are many things yu can volunteer for or do together.
You can also play board games after dinner: what about Scrabble or some other game for 2?
What you need to do: talk to him. He is probably in a nice big fat comfort zone where he's used to coming home and doing positively nothing --- that can be changed -- and there's always the weekend to do things together.
Whenever a husband says "whatever you want to do" generally means exactly that. Not "ugh I really don't want to spend time with her". So really no need to put words into his mouth
. So if he says that then pick something you want to do. Whether it be go for a walk or play cards or anything. Why do you need to leave the house to have fun together? The options are endless even in a small town.
If it bothers you that he doesn't take initiative then come to some sort of compromise where he HAS to pick something to do a couple times a week.
This. It's hard for us to get a sitter these days, so we do what we can at home. Sometimes we will cook a meal together, he'll do the entree and I'll do dessert. Then we sit at the table and wind up talking for a few hours over food and wine. Sometimes we order in and pick out TV series to watch on netflix or HBO that we are both interested in and can comment on while we are watching or afterwards. Then we set one or two nights a week that we can watch a couple episodes and always look forward to it. Game nights are always fun. Invite some friends over.
I have the same issue with my husband. He's become a little of out shape and he gets tired easily. Even if this isn't the case with your husband I really think getting fitter will help give him more energy. Go for a walk together, even if it's just around the block.
Like you I do sometimes take it personally but that's just our insecurity. They don't mean it like that. Just talk to him and he'll understand how you're feeling.
Buy a few boardgames you both love and play them together. Make a list of things you'd both like to do, watch the latest Bond movie, go on a romantic date, visit that funny looking thai restaurant just for the fun of it. Go to the beach/lake, watch the sunrise. Most of this we do on the weekends, but if you really enjoy the weekends you won't mind so much you don't do anything in the week.
Try to make him a lighter meal, I know this sounds silly but if he's full he'll get even more tired. I'm not saying he should eat a salad every night, even smaller portions help a lot.
Trust me I'm not a health freak but in my case this really helps so I hope it will do the same for you!