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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
How old is too old?
I'm 35, DH is 38. So far we haven't felt compelled to have children, although we love our nieces and nephews we just don't see them fitting into our lifestyle. I travel a lot for work and we both have a ton of hobbies.
Our health insurance is changing to a high deductible plan next year so suddenly I'm feeling like we should make a decision now so I can get essure or something and have it covered by insurance.Weighing pros and cons, but part of me thinks we're too old to have kids now anyway. I know it's not a decision to be made lightly, I guess I'm looking for advice from others who have considered having children later in life.
Re: How old is too old?
I would say if you and your husband want kids, it's sort of now or never. Sit down and have a blunt discussion about it.
If you do decide to move forward, just make sure you take every precaution and visit your doctor regularly. The likelihood of birth defects increases every year after 30 (or something along those lines), including down syndrome (not an expert on this, consult a doctor).
The real question is, do you actually want kids or do you just feel outside pressure OF "it's now or never".
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I was a surprise baby late in my parent's lives. They're first child was almost 18 and suddenly, birth control and steroids don't mix, and here I am! It's not necessarily the life they had foreseen, being parents and raising a new child. But they both talk about it being a great thing that enhanced their lives (of course I don't think they'd tell me otherwise, I've always felt this was a true statement). My dad is 69 next month (he was 45 when I was born).
Definitely consider all aspects of it before you decide to try or not to try. But, just as a child to some older parents, there's nothing wrong with it...
My dad (57) and my step mom (50) had my half sister back in march. OOPSIE!
Of course, that was a (supposed) accident, seeing as how i'm 27, my brother's almost 30, and my step mom's kids are 24 and 28. Its definitely thrown a wrench into their plans, specifically my father's retirement. But from what I hear, the joy of having a baby around outweighs the fact that he can't retire when he'd planned to. That and she's pretty much the cutest baby i've ever seen ever.
Speaking of too old, my bf says that all the time. he's 36, he's the youngest of 4 boys (so his older brothers are well into their 40s) and his parents are nearly 80 and still have never been grandparents. Seeing as he is the only one who's ever been married and is currently the only one dating someone, they are all up on our case to pop out babies as fast as we can.
I think it depends on how you feel. I'm 48 and adopting a baby (started trying to have one at 42, at 45 moved to adoption). But I feel like I'm 40. I am ending my engagement right now because my fiance, who is 49, feels like he's too old and has decided he doesn't want to parent again, but he acts more like he's 55 or 60 than 49!
If you don't want kids, do NOT have them. However, if you do want them, get a move on. I saw many women at age 35 on the infertility boards due to age.