"If it's wet and it's not yours, don't touch it."

Bec20

My mother is an amazing parent, but the extent of the sex talk I got from her was "don't do it."  All parents should talk to their kids openly and honestly about sex, but they don't.  I don't see why the idea of educators teaching sex education to pick up the slack is so shocking or scandalous.

The USA has one of the highest teen birth rates in the industrialized world.  Switzerland's is almost 10x lower.  Abstinence only sex ed is not working.  There fact that about half of teens say they have had sexual intercourse before graduating high school shows that, especially when you consider the number of people who are "waiting" but engage in other sexual acts.

SookieFrackhouse68

Abstinence only is terrible and does not work. Does not. Does NOT.

SookieFrackhouse68

There is definitely a misconception about the good ole days and how people had more morals and less sex. There was as much promiscuity back then as there is now. People just didn't address it. They hushed it up. I would have hated to live in that time.

SookieFrackhouse68

Baptist school survivor here, too. You know that gym teacher in Mean Girls who says if you have sex you will get HIV and die? That was my school. Bonus: no man wants your nasty, tainted vag if you have sex before marriage, you filthy, filthy whore. Men? Well, don't do it, but it's cool if you do. But your wife had better have her hymen intact. And wear jean skirts to her knees. Spolier alert: kids in my school still banged.

vlagrl29

my parents didn't give me a sex talk, they just gave me a book to read about body parts and pregnancy.  it was written for kids and it was really akward.  My friends and I would look at the photos and laugh about it.  In 5th grade I remember getting the "period" presentation and getting pads on the way out.  In high school health class I remember watching videos about examining your own breast and passing around a model boob to feel it.  that was kinda gross.  They never gave us condoms.  I was an orchestra geek and was really involved in it and my studies.  I wasn't even interested in men sexually speaking until i was in college.  actually i was 22 my first time.  I'm glad I waited.  I do think it should be up to the parents, but mine never discussed it.  

missymo

So, MommyLiberty, did you change your stance after reading this thread? You mentioned early on that abstinence only used to work, but then were shown that wasn't true.  

I'm really curious - have you changed your stance?  

SookieFrackhouse68

My mom gave me the period talk and actually told me that the hymen only breaks from intercourse and the gyno will tell her if mine is broken. Healthy dynamic we had. Thank God for sex education. Which my parents tried to opt me out of but I just stopped turning in the opt out form for because I was always the only fcvking kid in my class who was.

EllaHella

my mom is awesome and i cant imagine having a closer relationship.  We can discuss everything...but sex.  I was given a book much like Vgirl.  I didnt know what a penis was in 5th grade. I learned via our 1960s encyclopedias because I was nosy.  

Sex was demonized in my church youth group.  It instilled a very unhealthy connotation.  Very unhealthy.   I am very thankful for the 20 minutes of one health class where tbey talked about condoms.  All the True Love Waits pledges and talks didnt work.  I had sex.  Thank god it was protected sex.  

Pumpkin62307

cincychick35:

CoffeeBeen:

I was being sarcastic.  I don't see why anyone wouldn't want schools sharing information about sex, it's consequences, and sexual safety.  Parents can always talk to their kids about sex, but if it's taught in school then even the kids with uninvolved parents (the high risk kids) get education.  And that's good for everyone because you don't have as many kids raising kids, and the less an std is spread the less likely your kid could end up contracting it.  

It's weird because of all the things schools teach, teaching this topic could have the most direct benefit. 

I understand what you're saying.  I guess I forgot not all parents are as involved with their kids.

I still think those parents who can discuss this with their kids at home should. My mom never discussed anything like this with me (she gave me a book - lol)... I never wanted my DD to feel uncomfortable talking with me about anything.   

This made me laugh and compelled me to share my husband's experience. One day when he was 12, his dad took him to watch one of their horses get bred. On the way home his dad said, "Any questions?" That was the extent of it. (Which, come to think about it, was more than I got.)

So we were at a really fancy wedding one day, and my husband was telling this story, and I shook my head and said..."Well that explains so much." My husband still says it's the funniest thing he's heard me say.

ETA: I'm with you, cincychick, there's so much snark on this board, I can never tell if people are serious. **Off to google "Victorian response to the invention of zippers"**

Pumpkin62307

smerka:

CinemaGoddess:

You guys should really read the Pamie link I posted.

You will lol and go ewwwww and then lol more. 

Ha!  totally worth the read.  And now I've forgotten what this post is about. 

Oh. my. God.  I can't....I just....There are no words.

Curious though...did you follow her blog before this? I'm just trying to imagine what you were Google searching that caused this to come up.

Also, you owe me whatever it costs to get the Dr. Pepper out of my keyboard.

CinemaGoddess

Pumpkin62307:

smerka:

CinemaGoddess:

You guys should really read the Pamie link I posted.

You will lol and go ewwwww and then lol more. 

Ha!  totally worth the read.  And now I've forgotten what this post is about. 

Oh. my. God.  I can't....I just....There are no words.

Curious though...did you follow her blog before this? I'm just trying to imagine what you were Google searching that caused this to come up.

Also, you owe me whatever it costs to get the Dr. Pepper out of my keyboard.

I've been half-ass following her blog for years.  She first popped up on my radar about 10-11 years ago when I discovered Mighty Big TV, which eventually morphed into Television Without Pity.   Those are websites that recap current TV shows.  It all started with a group of a few people recapping shows like The Amazing Race, Dawson's Creek and various reality TV shows.  It was a lot better before it was bought out by Bravo but it's still funny. 

She was a hilarious recapper but she left a long time ago. 

MidwestGidget

ML, I guess I don't understand why all sex ed isn't "Abstinence Superior."  Our HS sex-ed class went something like this: Abstinence is 100% effective. If you have sex, here is a condom. Here is how it's used. When properly used, it's effective 98% of the time. It's not as effective as Abstinence. Here is a diaphram. This is how it's used, etc.

Our teacher would show us every method, including the terrible ones, like pull out and rhythm and explain how ineffective they were, all when compared to abstinence. It was all factual information, backed up with studies we could look up. In the end, I learned what to do and what my odds were if I chose to have sex in HS (I didn't), but came away having been beaten in the head that abstinence was the only surefire way to avoid pregnancy and STD.

I think acknowledgement of the tools at hand is a way more valuable education than the wanton disregard of them.

cincychick35

MidwestGidget:

ML, I guess I don't understand why all sex ed isn't "Abstinence Superior."  Our HS sex-ed class went something like this: Abstinence is 100% effective. If you have sex, here is a condom. Here is how it's used. When properly used, it's effective 98% of the time. It's not as effective as Abstinence. Here is a diaphram. This is how it's used, etc.

Our teacher would show us every method, including the terrible ones, like pull out and rhythm and explain how ineffective they were, all when compared to abstinence. It was all factual information, backed up with studies we could look up. In the end, I learned what to do and what my odds were if I chose to have sex in HS (I didn't), but came away having been beaten in the head that abstinence was the only surefire way to avoid pregnancy and STD.

I think acknowledgement of the tools at hand is a way more valuable education than the wanton disregard of them.

I would support this kind of sex education 100%.  Factual information based on the idea that abstinence is the only full proof way to avoid pregnancy.

That is what I am trying to convey to my DD. 

CoffeeBeen

Yeah, I agree with Midwest gadget. 

I think abstinence only sex-ed teaches:

Abstinence > Sex

Comprehensive sex-ed teaches:

Abstinence > Safe Sex > Sex

 

MrsGoodkat

MidwestGidget:

ML, I guess I don't understand why all sex ed isn't "Abstinence Superior."  Our HS sex-ed class went something like this: Abstinence is 100% effective. If you have sex, here is a condom. Here is how it's used. When properly used, it's effective 98% of the time. It's not as effective as Abstinence. Here is a diaphram. This is how it's used, etc.

Our teacher would show us every method, including the terrible ones, like pull out and rhythm and explain how ineffective they were, all when compared to abstinence. It was all factual information, backed up with studies we could look up. In the end, I learned what to do and what my odds were if I chose to have sex in HS (I didn't), but came away having been beaten in the head that abstinence was the only surefire way to avoid pregnancy and STD.

I think acknowledgement of the tools at hand is a way more valuable education than the wanton disregard of them.

This is how it was for us, too. And our graduating class only had one girl pregnant before graduation (though if any aborted I don't know). 

LexiLupin

MidwestGidget:

ML, I guess I don't understand why all sex ed isn't "Abstinence Superior."  Our HS sex-ed class went something like this: Abstinence is 100% effective. If you have sex, here is a condom. Here is how it's used. When properly used, it's effective 98% of the time. It's not as effective as Abstinence. Here is a diaphram. This is how it's used, etc.

Our teacher would show us every method, including the terrible ones, like pull out and rhythm and explain how ineffective they were, all when compared to abstinence. It was all factual information, backed up with studies we could look up. In the end, I learned what to do and what my odds were if I chose to have sex in HS (I didn't), but came away having been beaten in the head that abstinence was the only surefire way to avoid pregnancy and STD.

I think acknowledgement of the tools at hand is a way more valuable education than the wanton disregard of them.

That's pretty much what my HS sex ed was like too. We definitely covered all the potential forms of BC from the useless ones (like pullout) to the more, ah... religious ones? (like timing/charting/natural family planning) to hormonal and barrier methods, but were also told straight up that abstinence is obviously the only surefire way to be safe (and unpregnant). 

I have no idea what sort of pregnancy occurrence we might have had beyond that it was extremely low (I personally knew of 2 girls in a class of 360 who had dropped out before senior year due to pregnancies but I imagine there might have been a couple more), but it certainly got the message across for me. I had sex when I was ready, used condoms religiously, and got pregnant exactly when I wanted to.

MidwestGidget

CoffeeBeen:

I think abstinence only sex-ed teaches:

Abstinence > Sex

Comprehensive sex-ed teaches:

Abstinence > Safe Sex > Sex

 

This. Brevity is a virtue!