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Advice Needed
Looking to see if anyone is in a similiar situation, knows someone, or has some general advice.
My partner and I are about a year and a half before TTC. One of the big issues that we are dealing with is that both of us are high school teachers in the same school. We live in the midwest. No one knows we are together or that we are actually "not straight." 
Here is our issue....I will be carrying but yet we both want her equally involved. Basically how have you handle the whole work situation. I know it might be different for couples who don't work in the same building, but yet I am guessing some of you have had to figure out having a baby and the job.
I appreciate any feedback. When we started planning I didn't realize how many questions we would have!
Re: Advice Needed
I am not in your position but am a teacher so I can at least put in from that side of things. I think you are in a pretty tough place. I am out at my school but my wife goes to school functions that would be appropriate for other spouses to be at and often drops by school to say hi to me and the kids. I really can't see how people wouldn't figure out that you are a couple if you are co-parenting a child together. Plus unless you come out your partner will never be able to be equalling involved if she can't take time off when the baby is born or us family leave time if the baby is sick. Since it is far off I would think about either being more open about your relationship with people at school. Though I know that this is not always possible. Or think about either one or both of you leaving to work at schools that are more accepting of lgbt people. The stress of hiding your relationship now must be crazy. I can't imagine what it would be like if you were ttc and then parenting. It makes me sad that you have to even think about this but I guess it is the reality in our country today.
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
I know this is going to sound super-harsh, but I don't know how else to say it.
Please don't have kids until you are ready to come out of the closet. To everyone, in every situation.
It's not fair to have children and put the stress of keeping YOUR secrets on their backs. And it's not fair to have children and raise them in a situation where they are getting messages from you that your love, your family, is something that is shameful and should be hidden from other people.
I completely understand that coming out of the closet is a process that is different for every person and can take years, and I still struggle in some situations even though I have been married for 4 years. I grew up in Kansas so I feel you on the midwest thing. But please think very carefully about this before you make the next step. Being in the closet when you have kids is not an option in my book. ?
Ditto ssg and leapgirl 100%.
If it's not an option to be out at your school, one or both of you needs a new job before you have a baby. Think of how much lying you would have to do to cover up your relationship - when you are pregnant, people ask questions. Lots of nosy questions. The tap-dancing around the truth would be exhausting.
Leapgirl is very right about the issue of being out. I'd like to add what to what she said - being in the closet when you have kids is impossible because they will out you regularly. When you and your partner are out with your kids - people will be able to tell. They will be calling you both mom, or mommy or whatever names you decide on. And a million other situations - they will out you.
sahm ~ toddler breastfeeder ~ cloth diaperer ~ baby wearer
I just want to thank everyone for their honesty. As hard as it is to hear - I needed my eyes opened. I know that having kids needs to be completely selfless - I guess I just wanted some magical solution that I realize isn't out there.
As for coming out at work, I am not sure it is an option. The school we work in is more conservative than not and although I could never be sure until it happens, I see parents calling for our jobs if they were to find out. So....we may need to look into moving or switching jobs or realizing this dream of parenting is not in the cards.
Again, I want to thank all of you. I applaud all of you who have kids and the courage I am now realizing it takes.
Jill
I am coming in late on this - but I just wanted to re-emphasize that you come out everyday when you are a parent. Not only when you have a kid (or two) screaming, "Mommy!" to the two of you, but when you fill out paper work, or take your child to the doctor, or want to talk about what you did that weekend. It is continual.
Coming out can be hard - it was a very long process for me. But I wanted to make sure I was 100% (ok, 99%!) comfortable in my skin before I had kids. Kids are very intuitive and I didn't want them to transfer any of my shame or guilt.
Good luck!
Alison - mom to Grayson and Carter 2.5y