I just need to get this out because I am not sure whether to laugh or be afraid. To give some backstory, one side of my family is hugely dysfunctional. Everyone, and I mean everyone, on this side of the family is divorced. Some as many as 3 times. There is a strong addiction gene running through the family and the resulting problems that go with that. So my one aunt on this side is basically the black sheep. No one else in the family but me will speak to her. The reasons why could take up pages, but basically she is a drama queen who dredges up things that happened 30+ years ago and can't let them go. She has never done anything to me personally though, which is why I am still civil to her. Her two children (my cousins) wont speak with her. Its a huge feud that has been going on for over a year now, she accuses them of being on drugs, they accuse her of lying and trying to ruin their lives.
They were just in town for Thanksgiving and while at my house my cousin cornered me and said "I see you are still friends with my mom on FB." Me: "well yeah, I don't really talk to her that much but I want her to be able to see updates about my kids etc". She says, "well I need you to de-friend her. If you don't then I can't be friends with you." I said, "well I am not sure what the problem is. If you have blocked her, she can't see anything about you, and I am not going to upload any pics of you, or share info about you with her." So anyway, she defriended me the next day because I refused to de-friend my aunt. WTF? I am 35 years old and will not be bullied into removing people from my FB friends list. Does this seem ridiculous and petty to anyone else?
Re: Ridiculous family drama
If your cousin was worried about her mother gaining insight into her life through your FB, then that would be one thing, and understandable. But since you assured her that that isn't going to happen, she's out of line in her request.
I don't want to thread jack, but I've had it up to here with family drama myself lately - from a battle with my asshat cousin via Facebook, to my money-grubbing manipulative biitch of a SIL - I'm done. My blood pressure can't handle the family leeches anymore.
Oh no, feel free to pile on this post! The more the merrier!
There is a lot more I could add but it could seriously fill binders. My cousin seems to have a blinding rage toward anyone who attempts to remain neutral. She is constantly ranting about "spineless fence-riders" i.e., people who won't pick a side (even though it has nothing to do with them). She went off on a close family friend of mine, called him a fence-riding a$$hole and made a comment about his sexuality, all because he made a harmless friendly comment on one of my aunt's statuses. She has some anger issues.....
yes - goodbye to drama ramas.
Can I add one too? My sister was all over FB last year - constantly posting political BS, getting into fights w/ my friends who barely know her and then getting into weird super long flirty comment threads w/ randoms she met on music message boards, reaching out to cousines/relatives we haven't seen in 20/30+ years, jumping on me b/c I friended people she knew in elementary school, etc. Then out of nowhere she announced she was getting off FB b/c it was getting to be too much for her. OK fine. Then, last week, I was sitting next to her at the hospital (Mom had emergency gall bladder surgery) and I see she's on FB. I didn't say anything, but the next day I looked her up - she's blocked me. I can't find her anywhere.
Wow, that is really bizarre.
Cousin Drama: My Mom made a status update about how the three folks in our Disney vacation group who were afraid to fly all needed to sit together. Those of us who were going on the trip engaged in a long, joking, comment thread. My cousin, who is a known a-hole, chimed in with comments that made him look even more like an a-hole. I called him on it. He got pissy. I got more pissy. Ed made comments, to which my cousin told him to mind his own business, to which Ed pointed out that as his wife, I am his business. It got out of hand (on all of our parts, I readily admit), and ended up with me unfriending him.
My Dad saw him this weekend and my cousin approached my Dad and said "I owe you, Dani, and Ed an apology. I should never have gotten into a pissing match on FB like that." Dad, who wasn't involved in the discussion, thanked him, but said he should contact Ed and I. Cousin said no. He's apparently not all that sorry. Which is fine, 'cause I'm actually not sorry, either.
SIL Drama: Ed and his sister have a long, drama-riddled history that started with an utterly dysfunctional upbringing. Through drama with each other, their family, and eventually their mom, it was always a mess and they've never had a real relationship with one another. After their Mom passed away two years ago, his sister picked up and moved to GA without a word to Ed about it. We found out when her Facebook location changed.
In the two years since, she hasn't been in touch, and neither has he. They were FB friends, but never even interacted on there via comments.
In August, she Facebook messaged him to ask him for money. It included gems such as "I know you're moving up in the world and though you could help your dear old sister and niece and nephew out." When he didn't respond immediately (because he hadn't seen it yet), she put on her pissypants and sent "okay so I guess you have become another one I can check off the list who just doesn't give a shiit. I always thought family was all we had but I guess like everything else I was wrong."
He got incredibly ticked off, especially with that nasty little follow-up, and sent her a long email explaining why he wouldn't be her ATM anymore. She never responded.
Last week she Facebook messaged him again to ask him to send gifts to her kids for Christmas. In it, she said "I don't think of you as my ATM I think of you as my big brother who I hope I can go to for help and rely on."
He wrote back and told her not to contact him ever again. She sent another email that was one big manipulative guilt trip. He blocked her on Facebook.
I sent her a lengthy nastygram of my own and told her that she'd get money from our house over my cold, dead body, and that I didn't want her in our lives or in our kids' lives... among other gems. I may have had some bottled up anger when it came to her.
I am *infuriated* by her audacity! Trying to play on this family relationship when she wants or needs something from him when, in reality, she has NOTHING to do with him until those needs arise. They may share blood, but there's no real relationship there. And what makes it all that much worse is that I know it makes Ed sad. He isn't sad over not having contact with her, but he's sad that the people who held his family together are long-dead, and that he doesn't have a family who he can turn to and rely upon.
WOW, your SIL would make me furious. What a piece of work she is. Sorry!
Yay, in-law jackpot!
To be fair, Ed's Mom, while troubled, wasn't a bad person, and neither is his aunt, who we simply don't have a relationship with. His uncle an addict and an a-hole, so he's part of the jackpot with his sister.