How to Keep the passion going long distance?

cloud1661

Hey yall,

Me and my wife are currently separated because of my job and will be for the next couple of months, we are trying to find a way to keep the passion going during this trip, but she doesn't really feel comfortable doing anything more than taking off her top.   She won't really talk about bedroom stuff, she feels uncomfortable about it,  

 

I am looking for tips for keeping the passion high and going during this trip, I would like to get her self off too and really enjoy it, like when we make love in person, but she seems so off to the idea of it.

 

 

 

 

TarponMonoxide

I have an idea: what about "cheesecake" shots?

You've seen them; the ole school photos of WWII generation ladies in bathing suits or shorts and little tops --- what about something like that?

She could DIY and shoot the photos herself or maybe do boudour photos cheesecake style shot by a pro.

You and she could also write good ole fashioned sexy love letters, sent by snail mail.:)  Snail mail would make the anticipation a bit better and the letters would also be a nice keepsake.:)

cloud1661

Thats a pretty cool idea with the cheesecake shots thing.

 

the letters might be a little hard, she has trouble conveying more than just kisses and hugging in words, she don't really like talking about it. so i am pretty sure she wouldn't write about it, but I will give it a try. 

TarponMonoxide

cloud1661:

Thats a pretty cool idea with the cheesecake shots thing.

 

the letters might be a little hard, she has trouble conveying more than just kisses and hugging in words, she don't really like talking about it. so i am pretty sure she wouldn't write about it, but I will give it a try. 

Why don't you just write love letters, then?:)

it's about keeping love and passion alive --- this is how the couples of WWII did it -- they wrote as often as they could and sent photos when they could.

You could send her a "picture of the day" -- maybe a photo of you near something you find of interest or something that's cool or whatever catches your fancy.:) She could do the same -- send a photo of the day of her.

bluegirl2006

Here's what you shouldn't do. You shouldn't pressure her to do more than she is comfortable with.

Maybe you can have phone sex where only YOU do the dirty talk.

Or ask her to send you love letters that come from her heart rather than her loins and you do the same for her.

This could be an opportunity for the two of you to bond emotionally rather than physically. Stop pushing her to be your porn queen and show her some genuine love and affection.

quiltedinky

I think the act of being apart keeps the passion going. Since my husband became a trucker the intimacy when he gets home has increased by a large amount.

We keep in touch with a minimum 20 minute call a day.

During the rest of the time its by text. I'll send him a thought via text or a picture text of something that caught my eye. Sometimes its a picture text of the cat sleeping on the couch, or a picture of one of my parent's cats that he likes, or an impromptu pic of a group of us together hanging out. I've even sent him pictures of random family dinner tables of meals that he's missed out on.   All those things are my way of keeping him connected to the things he misses out on when he's gone, but he knows that we're thinking of him.

As for masturbating while apart is concerned. I know he looks at porn and masturbates. He knows that I have vibrators to be used when he's gone. He tells me when he's watching videos and I tell him when I use my toys. He knows that my line in the sand is that I won't use my toys while on the phone with him. He respects that. We've had to experiment a bit to figure out where the lines get drawn.

Knowing what your wife's comfort level is, try communicating and experimenting and see what other things she's willing to try before reaching the top of her comfort level. Don't forget that this involves TWO people, not just what YOU want. 

stacey1508

My husband and I had a long-distance relationship for years before we were married.  I actually think sometimes it can make things MORE passionate because of the whole "absence makes the heart grow fonder" thing.  I agree that you shouldn't pressure your wife, but I wonder why she's so uncomfortable doing anything remotely sexual while you're apart?  Is she that prudish when you're together?  It's important for you both to be able to talk about sex openly, so I would recommend asking her why she feels that way.  Don't pressure her and make it clear that it's ok that she feels that way- you just want to know why.  Is she embarrassed?  Does she feel like it's wrong?  Does she feel insecure because you're not there?  I think having an honest conversation would go a long way in helping you work it out.  Also, ask her if maintaining passion while you're apart is something that's important to her.  If she says yes, you can ask her what would make her feel that way.  Then, she gets to talk more about what she wants and doesn't just feel pressure to give you what you want.  It sounds to me like she is just dealing with some insecurities and any pressure from you will make it worse.  Once you find a way to reassure her that you care more about what SHE wants and what makes HER feel good, I think you'll get more of what you're looking for.  And one more thing...for many women, the emotional connection is just as important (or more) than the physical connection.  When you're not together, she doesn't get to be cuddled or talk or anything else that makes her feel close to you.  So make sure that you make connecting emotionally as much of a priority as keeping things passionate. Hope this helps!

Wulfgar

When I was living in Oklahoma, we would video chat where we would play with our selves while talking.  We would both get off.  Then we would also have phone sex.  We did this off and on for the two years that I was in Oklahoma and she is now my wife and we have a LO.