Pets
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
When to call it quits ?
We have a 6 year old mini aussie, 2 year old lab, and 7 month old baby. The lab loves our son but the aussie not so much. We have known for a long time that our mini aussie does not like kids and have worked with her on it for a few years. Everyone kept telling us, she will get use to our own kids and be fine with training her to walk away and give her a safe place. So, we taught her to go to our bed as her safe place since our son won't be able to reach her there. The problem that we can't seem to fix is that she wants to stand her ground and not leave. Ex: yesterday our son was taking toys out of a box we keep them it, the aussie layed down on the other side of a box (she could see him fully). The box tipped over a little, and hit her. She freaked out on him, if he wouldnt have reached for a different toy, she would have bit him.
Any advice?
At what point do we rehome her? We know a older couple that would love to have her. So, we know she would be going to a great home.
Re: When to call it quits ?
Most, if not all, of the regulars on this board would say never. A pet is a commitment for life.
Whether she likes your child or not, your dog is emotionally attached to you and your H. She would feel abandoned in the new home, not relieved to be away from your son.
Also, your baby will not be a baby forever. My son just turned a year, and we are already teaching him appropriate interactions with dogs (for example, we do not poke our fingers in doggie's eye sockets), and I give a short, sharp "Eh eh!" when I see him heading their way. He changes course and heads for something else.
If your dog won't voluntarily go to her safe place, take her there. Lure her with a treat, or a stuffed Kong, so she doesn't feel like she's being punished. My pit bull voluntarily spends the day asleep on our bed but sometimes I have to tell my Australian Shepherd, "Go to bed," because she's a shepherd and feels like it's her job to "guard" us from the strange noises in the apartment common hallway.
I know I am responsible for my child's safety, but I treat my dogs like family members and I don't think my child "trumps" my dog. I am responsible for my dog's comfort and safety as well.
NILIF is "Nothing in Life is Free" -- you establish yourself as the one in charge by controlling the dog's resources (food, toys, affection, sleep space).
http://sites.google.com/site/petsboardfaqs/home/training-and-behavior/nothing-in-life-is-free
Like I said before, YOU decide where your dog can be, or not be. If it's not safe (if your son is playing with his toys which could hit the dog), YOU make your dog move. Physically block her behind a baby gate. Let her and play with her (on your terms) when he's napping or gone to bed for the night.
YOU are in charge. The Aussie doesn't get to decide anything and NILIF will help her understand that.
This. It is very important that you get this under control for your child's safety. If you can't get it under control, I don't care what other people say, a new home may be necessary. Your child's safety should be priority #1, not whether the dog would be abandoned in a new home with a loving family (without young children).
The problem, though, is that this personality trait basically makes him nearly unadoptable. Even if there aren't young children living in the home, most have young children as relatives, friends with kids or neighbors with kids.
There are millions of dogs with no behavioral issues euthanized every year -- why would someone seek out a dog with behavioral issues?
RedheadBaker: I do agree with you that it is a personality trait that would make her nearly unadoptable from a shelter. But like I said before, we have a couple (retired with no kids) that would love to have her. We are very close to them and they know why we are thinking of rehoming her (They were the ones to approach us about it).
Doglove & Gamergirl522: That is the exact reason I reached out on this board. I do feel that my child's safety is #1. I do love my dogs very much and can't image not having them BUT I also can't image how bad I would feel if my child was bit by MY dog.
I just wanted to let you know I sympathize with the struggle you are facing right now. And you are in no way a bad mom or dog owner for considering giving your dog a new home- especially since you appear to have a great home lined up.
There are a lot of valid points brought up from PPs and worth reading through and listening to, but only you can make the right decision for your family. I, like all posters on here, love animals. And I applaud the trend of working with a dog to help their behavior and not just giving up the dog. BUT at the same time your child is at risk of being seriously SERIOUSLY harmed by this dog, and at 7months that risk is only going to go up for the next year at least. Beyond that, I do agree separation of the dog and child would do the trick, but is it also fair to the dog to get excluded from his social group for a majority of the day?
Forgive me as I can't remember if this is already answer further down but how much exercise does the Aussie get? They have high energy needs and if they are not being met you can have other behavioral issues appear.
But the child is danger b/c of the owner's failure to take leadership. She's allowing the dog to call the shots.
And my dogs voluntarily "exile" themselves to my bedroom for the day. Are dogs who spend the day alone because their owners work outside the home 8 to 10 hours a day being neglected?
I didn't read all of the other responses so I apologize in advance if this information is being repeated. As background info on me (since there's none in my siggy) I'm mom to 2 large dogs (85 lb Lab mix & 65ish lb GSD/Collie mix) along with 2 cats. I also have a 14.5 month old.
Baby gates are your friend! In some cases your best friend. My dogs cannot be crated due to anxiety so we use baby gates everywhere. The kind that attach to the wall with a swinging door are the best because when they're open, they're for the most part, out of the way. For my dogs, the couch and our bed are their safe places but if they are being too rambunctious OR if it's unsafe for them to be around DS because of what he's doing, they get baby-gated in another area. Sometimes that means they're locked out of DS' room while he plays, other times, that means they're locked in the kitchen where their food and water is. Also, rarely do I separate my dogs. They are best friends so if one is kicked out of the bedroom, they both are. That way it's less like punishment or more like nap/snack time.
Things have gotten better now that he's walking/running, so it will get better, you just have to be patient and give it time. I personally could never re-home any of my animals even though I regularly threaten to send the cats to Aunt Audrey's house to live.
Miles (6 year old Maine C00n mix), Boots (5 year old Lab mix), Darla (4 year old GSD/Collie mix), Frankie (1.5 year old DSH mix), Peanut (15 months old - 09/11), and Bean (arriving Feb 2013).
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
Is she outside by herself? Dogs don't exercise themselves. She needs walks/runs, interactive games (find the hidden treat), playing fetch, doing agility, etc.
Is there no bedroom that she can go to, to get away from the baby?
Do you even want to try to work on this problem?
She is not outside by herself all the time but believe it or not dogs do play with each other and run around to check things out. Also, maybe you should read a post above that we tried getting her to go to our bed (that is in a bedroom) as a safe place.
RedheadBaker, do you have kids? because you seem to be much more concerned that about my dog getting attention then my child being bit.
See sig. I have a one-year-old son, an Australian shepherd and a pit bull. I've also been volunteering at the local high-kill animal control shelter for almost five years, where I'm a member of the behavior team.
Believe it or not, I'm concerned for both. I don't hold my dogs over my kid, OR my kid over my dogs. It's not either/or.
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
you sound like you've already given up, and are just looking for permission from us, which you won't get here.
what have you done in the past? have you consulted a behaviorist? if i'm not within arm's reach to stop my kid, a simple "go" (to my dog) has prevented him from getting accosted by my toddler on numerous occasion. i'm also not above asking "who wants a cookie?" which would result in both of my dogs running to me at lightning speed. and at my feet=away from the toddler.
allowing your dog to "stand her ground" is not acceptable. YOU are the adult, you are the leader, you are the provider. you need to control both dogs and baby.
Have you seen my monkey?
You're awesome, too!
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
http://www.cesarsway.com/askcesar/aggression/Dog-Aggression-Towards-Children
Most people who have responded to your post already have pretty much said the same thing that Cesar responded with- PLENTY of exercise and possibly to have a behaviorist come in and access the situation. I know you said it is COLD in ND right now but even just 15 min of throwing a frisbee a day should help.
Cesar is a dog groomer who has no training in animal behavior, and while some of his advice happens to be good, a majority of the rest of his advice is pure crap and the OP would be much better off looking to behaviorists like Victoria Stilwell, Patricia McConnell, and Jean Donaldson.
Everyone gets lucky sometimes.