Trouble in Paradise
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Need constructive opinion- husband on Ashley Madison.com
I'm not sure how to handle the situation I am in, and I'm looking for advice...my husband has always watched porn, which really does not bother me. However, I recently noticed that he's also been visiting AshleyMadison.com (a website for married people looking to cheat). We've only been married for 9 months. I've seen the site in his web page history 3-4 times in the past 2 weeks.The first time I saw it I was devastated because I have a 0 tolerance for cheating, it is a deal breaker for me, because I've dealt with it before with a previous boyfriend, and I know myself and that I cannot get over it or ever regain trust again. However, before I take any real action, I need more proof than just seeing the site in his history, or else I'll always wonder if he really deserves me leaving him...so I created a fake account on ashleymadison and did some browsing...most of the profiles on there are so non-descriptive that it's like looking for a needle in a haystack trying to find out if he has a profile....Also, I did some investigating into our recent phone bills...no phone numbers that are out of the norm. Also downloaded all deleted photos off his phone...nothing. To be honest, our relationship is in pretty bad shape as is and we don't have very strong/passionate feelings for each other. I think the first few days after I saw the site on his history, I was actually EXCITED to find proof that he's cheating...but it turns out the only thing im sure of is that he MIGHT be LOOKING to cheat. Now everytime i'm around him I am super tense and I'm starting to feel like I have to say SOMETHING. Can't live like this...please help.
Re: Need constructive opinion- husband on Ashley Madison.com
I think maybe you two need to sit down and have a very honest discussion about whether you want to be married to each other. If he's fishing around cheating websites and you're kinda hoping he is so you can cut this off, than there might not be anything to save here.
If the damage isn't total, then at the very least you two should get your butts into therapy.
Sounds like you want to move on...you don't need the excuse that he's cheating, if you no longer have the feelings you once did, end it.
Stop prancing around the actual issue of a non-functional marriage and just get it over with.
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It sounds like you don't even want to be married to him regardless of if he's been unfaithful.
(Wo)man up and talk to him about this. There is seriously no point in you both remaining married if he's sitting around secretly thinking about cheating on you and you're sitting around hoping he will just so you have an excuse to leave. Why not just call it a day and move on so you both can go live lives that you're actually interested in living?
Out of curiosity, though, you've been married less than a year and you already both seem uninterested in being married ... so what possessed you both to tie the knot in the first place?
I'm more than willing to start validating people's ideas when they start having ideas worth validating
It sounds to me as though your marriage is dead in the water.
If he has not actually created a profile or met anyone from Ashley Madison, I think it is just a matter of time.
He will cheat on you. Sounds like you want out anyway. Honestly, from someone who is currently divorcing after 8 years of marriage, just end it now. My biggest regret is trying for so long.
Good luck to you.
So it was a last ditch effort to save what had already been decided was not a working relationship? End it regardless, and dear God don't bring kids into the mix.