For couples with babies...how long did you wait?

DavidStamps

My wife and I have a 2 month old, we were told to wait 6 weeks before having sex again....it's now going on week 12. My kid is a huge reason, is tough to do anything when he is around, but I also think my wife is scared too, understandable.

How long did you all wait before having sex again after a kid? And how was it? Painful? Awkward? 

tiffanysbride

I think 11/12 wks. DS ended up getting sick and needing surgery at 7 wks, so it could have been earlier had the situation been different. It was awkward and not really enjoyable at first, I also wore a t-shirt for a while. For me a large part of it was mental/emotional and I had to fake it a bit at first until I felt comfortable again. I'd say after a few weeks things were better then before.  

kdiguise

With my first, I had a small episiotomy and stitches so I was totally freaked out about it, but once I was cleared by my OB at 6 weeks, I just decided to go for it anyway. It was a little uncomfortable the first two times, then it was great. With my second I was on bed rest (no orgasm at all) for a long time, didn't have any 'trauma' so we ended up going for it at 2 weeks (with protection of course so as not to risk infection) and it was great. With the 3rd, I was again on bed rest forever and we ended up having sex at 5 weeks, no problem. Actually, we probably would have done it sooner, but having 3 kids under 3 was exhausting!  

I know it's hard, but just try to be understanding. It's a pretty scary thing, having sex after giving birth the first time! And your hormones are pretty wonky for awhile. When it does happen, just take it slow and listen to her!

shellybird101

6weeks on the dot.  We had to wait for BC, cause we don't do condoms, but we did do other things before

Kimbus22

6 weeks when the doctor okayed it.

That said, I tore really badly during deliver and was really, really scared. I cried on the way home from the doctor because I was hoping they'd tell me to wait longer.  But although it was different and a little scary, it wasn't super painful.  Definitely not fun fun until more like 6 months out but just uncomfortable at times up until that point.

Supasm

I think it was around 5 weeks pp but I also had a c section. It was still a little scary at first. It almost felt like losing my virginity again. Painful but also enjoyable. Take it slow is my best suggestion and make sure she is completely comfortable. I also wore a t-shirt for awhile it was odd having this belly that just was hanging there. I've always had a belly on me but that was so different. 

caroljosh

I think we were about at 3 months when we had sex again.  I got an infection and wasn't healed by 6 weeks.  I was healed around 8 weeks but then went on birth control and my husband wanted to wait until that was effective.  

 

The initial penetration hurt for a few months after we started having sex again but is back to normal now (baby is 10 months).  Though we have rare opportunities when the baby is sleeping and we are in the mood.    

caroljosh

and I want to add that my hormones were baby wacky and it wasn't until I started my period again (at 7 months) that I started thinking about sex again.  

Maybride2

Probably closer to 13 or 14 weeks, I don't remember exactly.

And no, it was not enjoyable.  Not really.  It didn't hurt, but it didn't feel good either.  And I had 2 c-sections, so I wasn't dealing with tears or stitches.  But if your wife is breastfeeding, keep in mind that her hormones are still wacked out and she is going to be a lot drier than usual. 

For me though - it was the sleep deprivation, the stress, and just wanting two freaking seconds to myself that made sex so unappealing.  I would spend the entire day and most of the night holding and nursing a baby, I was exhausted and just sick of being touched, I wanted to be left alone. 

If your wife feels that way, don't take it personally.  But know that giving her as many breaks as you can, holding the baby so that she can take a long hot shower, sit by herself and check her email, even just take a 20 minute catnap by herself.......those things will go a LONG way towards making her feel up for sex. 

jasminelorraine20

We only waited four weeks. It wasn't painful or awkward, it was actually better than pre-baby.

letzgoracing81

jasminelorraine20:

We only waited four weeks. It wasn't painful or awkward, it was actually better than pre-baby.

 I found this thread...thanks for sharing. (one of my biggest worries post baby) I had a friend who said the same thing as you...but I thought she was just blowing smoke.  lol

shelovesfrodo

We only waited 3 weeks, but I healed very quickly. The first time was meh, but from then on, it's been great.

Wulfgar

We waited at least 6 weeks but I think it was longer then that since MW had a bad class 4 tear and she hurt down there for a long time.  Our child is 18 months old and it still hurts her sometimes when we have sex.

 

Miranda314

4wks it was a little sore but ok..

Adalynsmommy0121

5 weeks and it was weird. Not really enjoyable. After the initial session, it was back to normal. 

Yasiris1105

I had a c-s so of course I need time to heal... But I couldn't wait! We tried after the first week but yeah, it was difficult so we started using manual stimulation only until I was more comfortable. After that (maybe 3 weeks after) it was piece of cake but of course consider that most women loose their libido and even more if they nurse. I did for 7 months but thank God my libido was there with me :P