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The Case of the Missing Condom
Hypothetical question:
Let's say that you KNEW how many condoms were in your house. (I put that in all caps to emphasize that there is no doubt in your mind how many condoms you have.) And then one day when you go to get something from your nightstand they are in, you notice the papers/documents covering them have been a bit ruffled/shuffled. So you look at them for a second (since they've never been in the box to begin with), wonder if the type of condom that is on top has always been on top and then decide to count them. There is one missing. You recount a few more times. You pull the papers out of the drawer and look around. Still no condom to be found.
The only person you live with is your fiance. You don't use condoms because you're six months pregnant. You work day shift, he works third shift.
What is your thought process?
Please - do not question why you know how many condoms you have - you just do, ok?
Re: The Case of the Missing Condom
I don't have any good advice for you. I would be more than a little concerned if i found myself in this situation.
Good luck.
YIKES. That is tough. Honestly, I would confront my fiance. If he lies about it, you know the truth. Keep an eye on the condoms and take note if anymore go missing. Is it possible that he would move one? I know it seems silly, but DH has sometimes moved some from my nightstand to his, for "easy access." Then again, you said you're pregnant, so condoms aren't really necessary... Does your fiance feel weird about having unprotected sex with a baby already on the way?
I would be very suspicious. I might watch the drawer for a while and see if any more go missing. Did you check the floor, behind the drawer, etc. in case one condom fell out?
Confronting is good but I tend to want to lie low and gather more information before confronting because once you do, if he is cheating, he knows and he'll just cover his tracks a bit better.
Would he have had a friend over at any point who might have asked him for one?
I would agree with this. Lay low, keep an eye out. Do some sleuthing.
its like living with the CIA.
but in all seriousness. keep count. and perhaps casually monitor his whereabouts (don't go overboard or demanding or it gets obvious). like others said - maybe a friend asked for/stole one/he gave it to them as a joke?
it's definitely cause for hesitation. if its not out of the norm for you (and if its a drawer he doesnt usually use), maybe you can ask him why the papers/documents were all shuffled in that drawer and see if he sweats it out.
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I third this.
Baby Boy loved for 15 weeks, 5/31/11
Baby Girl loved for 16.5 weeks. 3/1/12
This happened with my ex-bf, he had condoms in his bathroom cabinet and I didn't trust him already because I didn't live with him and didn't know if he went out or not late at night or had visitors after I went home for the night. Well I noticed one was missing, confronted him, he claimed not to know what happened to it, I was mad and more suspicious after that but stayed together because I had no 'proof' he was cheating. It drove me insane, 2 months later I find out he was cheating. Guess that sums up my thoughts on this. If you KNOW exactly how many there were and one is missing, most likely it was used. Men don't use them for self-pleasure, that honestly sounds absurd. Good luck.
The fact that you *know* exactly how many condoms where in the drawer makes me believe that you may have had suspicions. I agree with pps and lay low, gather information and then confront him.
I'm so sorry you are going through this engaged and pregnant. Good luck.
TTC since September 2012
My DH use to do this before we was married. Said it made clean up easier. Just ask him don't accuse him. But be careful you might not like the answer you get. GL
I agree with asking him flat out. I've never known of any man to use them "alone" but apparently there are some who do.
That said, trust your gut. I literally had the EXACT same situation happen with my now exhusband. Every situation and every person is different, so I'm not saying that he is doing anything wrong for certain, but intuition speaks volumes.
Good luck, lady!