Part of my career objective on my resume has always been to establish and maintain a safe and positive learning environment for all of my students. And by "safe," I meant lessons and activities would be age-appropriate. I meant the furniture layout would prevent them from running into each other. I meant my room would be a place where they wouldn't be afraid to raise their hands to answer questions because they know no one would make fun of them for being wrong. After Friday, the word "safe" means a whole lot more than all of that.
For about 8 hours a day, 5 days a week I am in charge of 20 little people. Some of them see me more than they see their parents. I teach them to read and write. I teach them to be kind to each other. I pick them up when they fall during recess and assess whether or not a trip to the nurse is necessary. I hug them when a beloved pet has died. Taking a bullet for them is not something I ever thought about having to do, but I know that I would. There's no question about it. And the magnitude of that realization is sort of freaking me out.
I spent much of Friday evening crying. I cried for the children who perished. They never could have imagined something like this happening to them, especially not at school. I cried for the teachers. I know their students' safety was the only thing on their minds and some of them paid the ultimate price for that. I also played the "what if it happened at my school?" game, which made me cry even more. Would I be able to protect them? I can only pray that the answer is yes.
Re: I have been shaken to the core and I need to ramble...
I agree with Britt. That was beautifully written.
You were one of the first people I thought of when I heard what happened. Obviously I've never seen you with your students, but there's no doubt in my mind that you would be one to protect them and keep them safe. I think we would all be lucky if our children are able to come across a teacher like you.
Hopefully what happened on Friday never, ever happens again.
It sucks we live in a world that you have to ask yourself that question.
Me too.
Janet I can't for a second understand what you're going through as a teacher of kids that are the same age as those small kids that were murdered on Friday.
the whole situation makes me sick. Vent away and ramble all you want. again I can't imagine. I have been avoiding the news because of how much I hate all of the coverage.
The Rowdy Roberts
I can not imagine the magnitude of emotions going through you right now. You have more responsibility for these kids than most parents do. You learn everything about these kids. They depend on you and trust you to keep them safe. Keeping them safe from gunfire is something they should never ever have to think about.
As a parent I tried to avoid the coverage. Watching the presidents coverage I sat there and cried. I didnt want to watch or listen to speculation. I wanted to wait until the truth came out.
I know how much it got to us as a parents of an elementary school student. I could never imagine the feeling as a teacher.
Are there councilers in your school that the teachers can talk to? I think if you sit together and talk it might make you all feel better. Im so sorry that you have to feel this way.
Thanks for the support, ladies.
I greeted each student with a giant hug today. It was funny because it got to the point where someone would walk in and everyone else would say, "Mrs. Janma, you need to go hug [insert student's name] now!"
The assistant headmaster had the guidance counselor visit all of the classrooms to talk about feeling safe with the kids. This is part of the conversation they had in my room:
counselor: "Where are some places you feel safe?"
student 1: "School!"
counselor: "Who helps you feel safe at school?"
student 2: "Mrs. Janma. It's her #1 job!"
counselor: "That's right..."
student 3 (interrupting): "And her #2 job is to help us learn."
student 4: "And her #3 job is to help us have fun! But #1 is the most important."
I've been telling them that since the first day of school. I guess it sunk in.