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Did someone drop something?? Not so fast
lizznjohn...
Deleting the post doesnt change the fact that you are cheating on your H.
I still love my husband, but I am obsessed with another man.
Ok, so Im not looking for critisim. I guess I realize that maybe one of the reasons this is happening is because there's something Im looking for but Im missing.
The fact of the matter is, a guy friend and I started casually chatting online like 2 years ago. After about 3 months, it turned a little more flirtatious, and then a little more. We've never met up in public and I haven't done anything that should make me feel guitly for what I've done. I haven't acted or anything. The guy has wanted to meet, but I contastly turn him down.
But I can't get him off my mind. I fall asleep thinking about him, wake up with him on my mind. Spend all day waiting to get online later and talk to him. And I normally get pretty mad when he's not on. It's a romantic and sexual obsession that constantly follows me around.
So what gives? Im in a wonderful, happy relationship. I really DONT want to stop talking to this guy, and Im not doing anything that I feel is wrong. But why do I feel this way?
Re: Did someone drop something?? Not so fast
Ok, so Im not looking for critisim
then you shouldnt have posted this!
and Im not doing anything that I feel is wrong. But why do I feel this way?
you are full of crap, you know exactly what you are doing is wrong.
if your h was doing exactly the same thing with another woman youd be perfectly ok with that right?
keep on trying to justify your lying cheating ways by saying you arent doing anything wrong if it makes you feel better.
we can see the truth
I'm going to assume that OP is still lurking and give my $0.02
Lizz - If you don't think you're doing anything wrong, then you're either delusional or psychotic. You are having an emotional affair with another man. Your vows said "forsaking all others, keep myself only unto you." That means physically, emotionally, and verbally. Ask youself - if Dh found out, would he be hurt? If yes, then you're doing something you should feel guilty about. If DH had another woman on his mind night and day, a woman that he actively engaged with in a intimate manner, (albeit internet) would you feel betrayed?
I'm not saying that the married woman's mind doesn't occaisionally fantasize. But you've carried that into the real world, and you're not behaving the way a woman of character and class behaves. You feel this way because you let yourself feel this way. You indulge yourself with this man and you seek out those feeling of satisfaction with him. If you want to stop, then disconnect with him, and find yourself a therapist that can help you identify what is missing in yourself and your marriage that encourages you to act this way.
Also, when someone is doing something wrong, criticism is warranted. If you wanted a pat on the back, you should visit a swingers club. (though even they wouldn't have you since you're lying to your H)
Nestie Bestie with the lovely RockABye
Oh, good one Mags!
I still have my reply up at home, I'll post it when I get off work.
To the OP: you need to end this "friendship" and stat. What would you do if you found out your H had a "girl friend" online?
You are having what is called an emotional affair. You engage in online sex and if you ever met up with the guy you'd probably engage in actual sex. You can try to make youself feel better and say you have nothing to be guilty of(but by the post you do feel guilty)but you have oh so much to be guilty of....
You have taken fantasizing to anouther level and if you feel so connected to this other guy than go ahead get divorced and pursue this other fellow...
Maybe she wants an open marriage. Whether or not she ends it with the online dude, I thinks she should tell her husband what's been going on and go from there.
It sounds more like she likes the attention she's getting online and isn't getting that at home.